My 8 mile

Mum said she has never really had any ambition even when she was a kid. It was because she had always had a weak heart. I pressed on fervently even for a little hint that she may have had some kind of tiny hope, a dream perhaps. But she smiled slightly and told me, no. Mum has never had the thought of someday becoming a doctor, a lawyer, an astronaut or even an "octopus" like how a friend told me what she had always imagined to be.

Wow.

Yes indeed. Wow again. Does that mean mum totally, completely invested herself all thes...Read more

Boxing day

Yesterday so many people came to see mum. At least 40 people.

:)

Mum is such a popular person. I am starting to gasp more and more just knowing how she helps others and also the participation she puts into churchwork. The singing people came too. Hehe. I like calling them the "singing people" because I like to think angels are also a choir of joyful beings. My mum teaches people in church singing too.

They put their hands on mother and prayed.

There wasn't much space for me to stand anymore. These frui...Read more

Merry Christmas Eve

The first two words mum uttered when she left the operating theatre and came to were "it hurts".

I watched her wan face, creased folds that lined her upper forehead into a simultaneous frown and her anguished face, eyes wide shut. It does hurt. Me.

Then I tilted my head away and saw my silly tears blurring my vision. Of course mum was in pain. she just had had her operation. And the doctor showed me the stuff he had removed. If you're as sick in the head as I am, that sight would be tolerable, if not, well, I...Read more

Journey and journeying,

Mum's operation is in a few hours. And I'll be spending Christmas Eve, and Christmas and after that in the hospital with mum. I am thinking of the things I can do to cheer her up and interest her.:)

Mum said to me the other day that she would really like me to stay with her during this period , and so I've been doing nothing except hang out with her. U know what I fear most is that she cannot just rest or sit still, she often wants to cook for me. I said no, but she said, that she would be restless and start imagin...Read more

This journey.

The doctor has told us , well two doctors that my mother's cancer is not totally known to be at which stage, except it is not stage 1. Her tumour is 6cm long. This bites doesn't it? But this is the time when I have to kick myself and shut up, no negativity. We will leave it to God and just make her happy by being very very very very loving,warm and funny. Genuinely too.:)

Thank you for all your help. This is a journey and I am just learning how to deal with things, come what may.

My mum's face is interesting, such de...Read more

Bad news = more faith.

Yesterday I heard something that made my heart drop. For months, we've been on on tenterhooks, fearing for mum's health AND then my health and then mum's health and now....

Mum had her endoscope done yesterday and it was discovered that she had a tumour in her intestines. I asked if it was cancerous and she said the doctor said it was very very bad and that after further tests we may have to let her operate immediately.This news is a sad update to the good things that have been happening in my life. This i...Read more

Just went to Sabah!

I was just in Sabah, at Kota Kinnabalu. I went there to visit my pastor, Rev Koo, who is also the chairman for Food For The Hungry International Malaysia. Over a span of a few days I got to see the work they did and are doing for the natives in the jungle. I am very glad to have been there to make friends with the wonderful volunteers and the natives. Food For The Hungry is an organization that helps bring relief in terms of food, and other amenities and assistance for the needy. My pastor told me how they are in the process of building p...Read more

This funny year

What a year, so many ups and downs. I am glad however to have adjusted to my downs and look towards the ups. I'm also happy that I faced alot of my demons and fought them this year. I look forward to having more energy and picking myself up. This year is probably one of the worst years ever  for my health. The number of doctors I saw was amazing and the pills I had to swallow :( U would never want to go to dinner with me! I missed alot of events also and jobs because I was physically unfit. But after the rain comes the rainbow. Lately I&#...Read more

Requiem For A Dream

Some friends tell me if I ever saw Requiem For A Dream, I would love it and gush about it all day. Well they said the same thing about A Clockwork Orange. And guess what?

They are right.

I love Requiem.

To bits.

The images are really powerful

Best best best best ever.

The direction was breathtaking. I LOVE it.

My poetry/ The pie

That pie you gave me was the insane root

I ate it heartily anyhow

It was fiery red, with brilliant fashion

And seduced me to chomp, chew, devour

Smeared like a powdered sugar donut

I licked the whites lovingly, longingly

With such candour

Until the earth danced a merry twinkle

The stars started their beaming tentacles

Anticipating with bated breath

Snuffing her last gasp into a blurry whirl

My mind became a kaleidescope, fragmented

Distended in...Read more