In good time

I'm currently seeking treatment for a medical condition that I have. That's probably why I've written such highly emotional blogs in the past few ones. To be sick at a point where things are rosy,where u've emerged from years of buried sadness isn't great. It's ironic but I'm past being sad. Remember that day I said it was the saddest day of my life?I was sad that entire day and then I told myself,that's good enough.

Don't worry,I'm a big girl. Maybe little to some people,but a big sister to others and a friend of yours. A closer friend to those unfortunate victims of my mad pranks and jokes and a daughter of God and some elderly people who I met previously who were alone. And of cos a daughter to my mum and a sister to my bro. In life,sometimes we learn the lessons younger,earlier,maybe for a good reason. And others who learn them later aren't pale in comparison,it's just in good time.

I love to love and love u for all your friendships,kinships,relationships and i also love to laugh.I thought to myself,hmm,by writing this blog,would it make me happier? The answer was yes! Because my mother just hugged me and cried. But she seemed happy talking to me about it than not and I felt happier for a perculiar reason. Ah,because I don't feel weird. My mum's health is STILL not good and now she is upset more because I'm sick. What a twist! :)

That's all.

I am very thankful to a friend and a team of people for believing in me. To make sure I live out my promise I will create more compositions and record new sample demos.I made a pact to work hard at making honest and real music,from my heart. And this bunch of people will see it through. This confidence in me moves me to bits.:)  My focus is to get well and get myself back on track. I am currently in Singapore but I have a phobia of SIngapore. Because it was here that I have the worst memories. I'm past it but sometimes when a lump appears at my throat it is because my friends/acquaintances have so many questions. And I'm actually very defensive. I'm not as open in person as I am on my blog. I am this way here because I write. I'm writing as if it is an uncensored form of self expression. Some may say I'm crazy for entrusting such trust into the hands of strangers and people I may not know or who might hurt me. I know one thing though,this may be true in the past. But now,honestly I came to understand,I came to be enlightened that no one can hurt u unless u let them.

I am still master of my pen,author to my own censorship. But thank u S for looking out for me,u know who u are.

Thank u all for listening to me rant always. Actually we're all humans with more than a 2d-configuration. As much ranting there is,there are also the jokes I pull on people. I love writing silly limericks like I did for Anton and Paddy,and that poem for Pedro! I also love teasing the AnD brainiacs whom I met in HK last May for the first time. This is such a special blog,it's so different from Facebook where I get poked like crazy and get requests to join some strange new game online. A few is fine,but I have 102 requests for just some warrior game.Woah.

Oh hehe,I'm getting a new Mac,since the previous one got left in the cab by my friend. Don't gasp. I already freaked out many times over. So,I owe D'in 2 songs for our first project,and a 3rd for the ghost tunes. I'll post up my other new stuff u guys haven't heard before.:)

Jackie,my dear dear friend. I know u're reading this,thank u for all that u've done for me. U're such a good person and I'm very lucky to have u as my friend. Thanks for always waiting for me, I am always slow with revealing things,it's a wall I created since I was a little girl. I think there's just thin tracing paper now,because I'm not so hung up anymore!

I will write more crazy and fun blogs,I re-read some ridiculous ones and I thought,ah,that's more like me. Being silly and unapologetic about it!

With love.