MEET MY AH GUNG (grandpa) - a good old guy : )

This is a photo of me and my Ah Gung (grandpa)

Just last week, my grandparents came for their annual, obligatory visit to the United States.  Ever since I was a baby, my mother's parents would travel from Taiwan to America where they would visit their 5 children.  They would spend about 1 week at every child's house, bringing with them suitcases full of Taiwanese delicacies like taro root cake, stinky tofu, seaweed, fresh bamboo shoots, etc.  I was always amazed how my grandparents were able to get through customs with all of these strange treats.  Perhaps if they tried to transport a live spider monkey or African Horny snails in their luggage, they wound not have been so lucky.

But this visit was different from all of the rest.  The look on my grandparents faces when I first greeted them at the door was unlike any I have ever seen over the past many years.  Usually it's a big smile, a rapid fire of Chinese banter, and a connection that feels like..."Ohhhh, so good to see you.  Have you met a nice Chinese girl so you can give us nice Chinese great-grandchildren?!"  But not this time.  Instead of an immediate greeting, my grandparents just stared at me silently, as if looking at something for their very last time.  Especially my grandpa.

My grandfather was diagnosed with colon cancer exactly 12 months ago.  Because he is 88 years old, the family and doctors decided it was too risky to undergo traditional cancer treatment and surgery (I agreed with their decision).  So, my grandpa went through several rounds of oral pill chemotherapy.  Though it did not kill the cancer, it greatly slowed down it's progression.  The doctors gave him 14 months to live.

Old age combined with disease can really take a physical toll.  The grandpa I know and keep dear in my memories is one of a strong man, a great community leader.  He was the only doctor in a small Taiwanese town called Chu Tung.  Post WW2 Taiwan was a very difficult place.  And as the town physician, my grandfather provided not only medical help but spiritual resolve to bring healing to a war-torn community.  The grandpa I remember is a strong, strapping Taiwanese man with huge biceps that my sister and I would dangle off of as children.  We treated him more like a jungle gym.  I remember him taking me cruising through the windy chaotic streets of Taiwan on the back of his white Vespa.  I remember him laughing, singing and drinking at countless family gatherings and town parties.  He was the center of many people's worlds.

So it was very strange for me to see him this time around.  I last hung out with my grandfather about a year ago.  At that time, he was aging and slowing down.  But since that time, he has become old.  Now he has a cane and needs the assistance of my uncle just to get around.  He needs help getting dressed for the day, undressing for the night, bathing, and going to the bathroom.  It's effortful for him to talk so he doesn't speak much and he sleeps 19 hours a day.  But though his physical exterior is failing him, his mind and spirit is still strong and present.  He radiates a love and warmth that is stronger than ever.  It's nice just so sit next to him even if it is silent.  The unfortunate truth is that my grandfather is quickly coming to the end of his time and he knows it...he can see it.  I can only wonder what is really going through his head.  But one thing I know for sure, the choice that he has made at this point in his life is to journey half way around the world to America to surround himself with what matters to him most...his children and grandchildren.  His family.  And that was against doctor's orders.