Alone

First off I want to thank you for taking your time to read my rant and rave section here on myspace.  I know most of you have tons of other things you rather do but you decided to invest what little time you have to see what I'm blogging about.  So here it goes.

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You may question why I title this blog "Alone".  Will it speaks for its self doesn't it.  I am Alone, or I feel alone, etc…

No this isn't a poem or some creative writing I'm trying to express. It's just me at this very moment on how I feel.  As most of you may know already I had moved to LA about a year and a ½ ago.  My original plan was to pursue film/t.v. Will I did, not fully but I did.  I've been on some great sets, met a few stars, see how the productions work.  Lately I have hit a lump on my journey.  That lump is "Time", will at least I think it is.  Time, darn…how to explain it.  I know that to make it out in this industry it's Time and perseverance and a whole lot of luck.  Which I don't mind doing but coming to think of it I have other aspiration and dreams I want to follow as well.

For one, I want to buy my mom a house; to be there for her and provide.  Apart of me wants to settle down (Can't believe I just said that) and start a family, but with this type of work it would be too difficult and I wouldn't want to put anyone through it.  Lastly, the more I see how this field works the more I dislike it.  Because there is so much politics involved, bias, and unfairness, but hey that's how it is out here.  Oh yeah to top it off LA life is expensive!! To go anywhere will cost you something.  The living environment isn't all that great either.  It's junky, crowded and the people here are ruthless.  Hey! try to understand where I'm coming from alright I'm from MN originally hehe.  Anyways I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of fed up with it all.  Sure there are lots to do here, tons of places to see, beautiful people (most of them shallow as hell) and full of culture.  But I miss home, I miss my family and I miss my community.  Oh yeah about community…errr.  So far, most, not all but most of the Hmong people here (especially the girls) down here in SoCal are one of a kind.  Let me tell you.  They don't really have the sense of community and most of them lack common sense.  Maybe the sun is a bit too bright here.  Now I'm not bashing on SoCal Hmong girls but so far the ones I met are either too high class (so they think) or have lost their self-image and culture that they don't even know how to talk to a Hmong guy anymore.  Now you may be wondering if I had tried to hit on them…let me tell you this…N-ger Please! Hmong girls in MN are by far way better.  The only reason why I would approach them is because they are Hmong, and I feel comfortable  But I guess I might be jumping the gun too soon to make quick judgments about them, but you know what they say, "The first impression Counts".  Have I try other non-Hmong girls? Sure at work! hehehe, I'm chasing one right now, but that is on the D.L.

Aside from that LA is okay.  I wouldn't want to live here the rest of my life, sure it's great while your young and bold and dangerous, but eventually I want to come back home.  Although thinking about the snow makes my teeth cringe I might consider GA or S.C where some of my family lives, although there isn't much there is there?

So question for you folks who took your time to read my rant, should I stay or should I go? And by go I mean back home.  I kind of made up my mind already but I want to hear from you.