My own anger management.

Lately a few people have commented on my body transformation and outlook. No doubt, my clothes which used to be bursting at the seams are now a little looser than I’d like. So I thought about the drive and motivation for my workouts and aside from the vanity answer that I give most people, it was because of a guy.

I remember getting angry about every argument we’d have and would just put on my runners and run like the wind in the newly built gym room at my condo in Toronto. On the treadmill, I’d keep increasing the speed faster and faster till I could barely breathe and all of the food I had eaten would want to re-surface. I was so angry towards the end of my stint in Toronto. I was so frustrated and so disappointed with myself for getting into this type of dependency over a guy. So a long story short, I left and attempted a life half-way around the world. All I had was hope in my suitcase, waiting for something to begin.

As I arrived in KL, flashbacks continued to be a driving force that would motivate my running and endurance for faster speeds and longer distances…as my anger slowly faded, I found myself moving on to the next step of my life - determination . There’s only so much resistance one can have when living in a city like KL. The abundance of food at any hour and the delicious aroma of Malay, Chinese and Indian restaurant are just so tempting. Lot of boys were taking me out to new restaurants and crazy partying meant it was much harder to work off all of the bad toxins and food. I was relatively toned but it was more about feeling good about myself, where I wasn’t quite there yet.

It’s been a year, still lonely as a bat but happy as hell. The late nights have become much quieter, I’m blogging more (as I used to circa 2002) and getting in touch with my own person, finding my own value without being measured against other people’s values. I’ve set out goals for myself and it started off with a nice cleanse with Juvanex that kept my body clear of toxins. It’s really about achievement in this stage of my life. I’ve got a few more notches on my belt and bragging rights that are supported by my repeat business in the industry. I’m feeling better about my body and proud that I got a bit of definition that is visible when i wake up!! Now that’s what I call results!

It’s sad that it took a guy for me to realize what I should have done all along, but it makes for a better story, yes? From anger to hope to determination to achievement. It happened: esp when I’m a fat girl in a skinny body. I have a decent metabolism rate to start with, but weight train and cardio has increased my metabolic rate. (I no longer need to work as hard to get the results I desire) But it does take work-and I’ve been working out regularly from Oct 2007 til now. I’m back to a size 2 and thankfully its cuz i stuff my face with the 2nd best fruit in the world: Papaya. Eating does more justice to your body than the exercise you’re on.

I challenge you guys out there who get stressed or bogged down with issues and just deal with it through exercise vs. toxins… if the situation isn’t going to get better, it doesn’t mean you have to make your body suffer.