Love

(Princess Raja and me at Farah Khan’s gathering) 

This post is probably gonna sound desperate or perhaps even silly but it might be a bit premature since Valentines isn’t til 2.5 weeks away. In fact, I’ll be working on Valentines Day this year. It’s quite hilarious since I do love my work -but its a little sad since I don’t have any “special someone” to spend it with this year.

I was thinking about my past Valentines in the years I had boyfriends who made or bought me special goodies with every part of their love wrapped inside. Mr. E made me a shadowbox of pictures of us and I remember crying like a goon. My first Valentines gift was in Grade 5 where this Korean exchange student gave me a Crunch bar and soon after I was hooked on them. J sent me 3 dozen of the most beautiful roses I had ever seen on our first Valentines together. I remember being so head over heels in love with excitement and anticipation upon the celebrated day of Love.

Sometimes I watch romantic comedies and beautiful love stories and think if I too will meet someone out there. But reality hits and it is so hard to even think that I could find someone, knowing my crazy schedules and unreliable plans of relocating to different countries every couple of years. It’s crazy how time has flown by and how my fickle nature hasn’t really placed me in any relationships worth noting. Usually, I fall for someone and we end up dating for years. But many exes later, my idea of love has changed. I’ve held back a lot more than I’ve wanted to. There is more on the line now and sometimes I think I should just let go and not deny myelf of emotions. But I’m just not ready.

Maybe next year I’ll be ready for love.