I had an audition today for the show "Reaper" on the CW network. This year, I've had on average about one audition per month. Ideally, I should be going out once a week, but with the writer's strike earlier this year and the impending SAG strike, most actors have been experiencing "The Great Depression" of acting work this year.
However, this drought has been a prime opportunity for me to work out some of my acting issues. These are all very much internal issues (and probably ego too), that have made my acting laughable in the first few years of my time in Los Angeles. I am not too proud to admit that i was peddling shit to the various casting directors around town my first two years of going on big, intimidating, super-legitimate auditions.
Oh man, if ONLY i could go back and do all those auditions again. I sucked. I mean REALLY REALLY SUCKED.
Part of the problem was that I thought that I could get away with never acting outside of the times I was auditioning. BAD IDEA. Not acting outside of auditioning is probably the worst thing anyone can do for their acting career. Especially once we become "grown-ups," whatever that means, it becomes harder and harder to get out of your goddamn huge-ass head. All those thoughts you're having--did I read that line right, or can the casting director can see my huge zit, or am i bloated from that pizza i ate stoned last night--these are all poison in the audition room.
When you're all drugged out on insecurity, you're gonna blow your audition unless it's for some ridiculously insecure and neurotic character. So yeah, you can either wait for the universe to align in exactly that way and book one gig, or you can work your shit out and start booking lots of gigs.
In my acting class, my teacher would say that your problems in acting are usually your problems in life. This is soooooo true. So...now i just try to make my life better. It's working so far, and my acting is coming back. It's like I came out of a coma. Now if the auditions would just start pouring in...I'm more ready than I've ever been.
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