top 106 | 進入106強 | 进入106强

（中文翻譯在下面）

Ok…so…yesterday was my first onstage performance.  I was the 22 nd person to go up out of about 70.  Yesterday was the last day of competition for the 400 contestants.  I actually practiced my song thinking that I was going to use a head mic but ended up using a hand mic because the director told me that the sound was better.  So….I was feeling a bit awkward for my performance…it wasn’t as good as I had hoped.  Truthfully, we woke up so early to get to the studio that I didn’t even warm up my voice.  So….I’ll have to make sure that I’m nice and warmed up for the next performance.  The judges seemed to say good things about me…but, I didn’t really feel like I deserved it because I know that I only performed at 60%.  I just felt so numb…and unsatisfied with myself.  Hopefully, I’m just getting warmed up and the next time it will be better.  I think there is just a sense of feeling out of place.  The whole time I’ve been worried that I don’t fit into this competition.  I thought that the main theme was going to be musicals…so, I thought, perfect….I’m totally in that category…but, everyone seems to be a pop singer.  And everyone is VERY young and new with performance.  I don’t know.  I’m trying not to think negatively about this.  I’m trying to remember my motive for entering…which is for promotion and to get me my new start in China.  It’s hard….and I try to explain this to my mom (because we are so close and talk about everything) but….I don’t think she completely understands where I’m coming from.  Though, she did write me this really long and cute (because of all of the spelling and grammar errors) email.  I know she wants what is best for me.  She’s always trying to get me to think more positively.  I’m trying…really I am…but, if you are secluded in this camp with all these young kids who seem so different from you…and you have no real friends to talk to…it can be so hard.  I have my ups and downs though….luckily God is with me or I think I’d go crazy….So…last night they called us for a meeting at almost midnight.  I was already sleeping because of the long day.  It really scared me though because our teacher was yelling out my name..telling me to come down.  I thought there was some sort of evacuation going on or something.  Well…I found out that they were calling all 400 of us to meet and announce the contestants that made it into the 106 cut.  I got a bit nervous that they wouldn’t call out my name..but then, when my name was called, I felt numb….I used to be very emotional and start crying…but…I didn’t feel anything.  I knew deep inside that I’d make it in because of the comments that the judges made…I guess….and when I looked around to see all the younger contestants crying and being all emotional…I almost felt sad that I didn’t  appreciate things as much as they did.  It really means a big deal for them.  I mean, it’s big for me too…but, this is the start of their career.  It’s just strange to think that I’ve grown up and past that time.  For me, I feel like I’ll try my best at everything that I do…but no result will be the end of the world. Things happen for a reason and if I make it then it was meant to happen…if not, there is something better for me.  Well,  I felt real sympathy for those who didn’t make it in.  And, I felt very touched to see those who were crying from happiness because they made it.  It’s interesting to really observe all that is happening.  I actually feel very mature for the first time…..  

By the way, I'm working on getting the translations....stay tuned...

 繁體中文：是的…昨天是我第一次上台表演，我在大約70人中第22個上場，昨天是型秀比賽400進100的

最後一天。原本打算用耳麥的，但後來導演給了我話筒，說音效會比較好。所以…我對自己的表演有點不自信…不象我自己希望的那樣好。事實上，我們很早就起床

來到錄音棚，我嗓子都沒打開。所以…只能在下次表演時表現得更好。評委們都對我評價不錯…但我不真的覺得好，我知道自己隻表現了60%。

我對自己不滿意，覺得有點麻木。但還有希望，我下次會好好熱身，一定會表現得更好。可能是因為感覺自己有點格格不入，我始終覺得我不適合這個比賽。原以為

是音樂劇演員的評選…本來覺得好棒…我是其中的一員…但是，所有人都唱流行音樂，而且大家都非常年輕，沒有舞臺經驗。我不知道是這種狀況，試著不去想負面

的東西。我努力回想參加比賽的初衷…這是我在內地開始職業生涯的好機會。但很難…我試著跟媽媽聊起這事（我們很親近，什麼事都談）但是…我不認為她完全了

解我的處境。儘管如此，她還是給我寫了那麼長而可愛（因為裏面有好些拼寫和語法錯誤）的郵件。我知道她希望我能做最好的自己，她總是讓我樂觀面對事情。我

在努力…真的在努力…但是，如果你在一群這麼小的孩子中間覺得自己很另類，沒辦法融入…而且沒有真正的朋友可以談話…真的很難。我也有情緒高低起伏的時候…幸運的是上帝幫了我，否則我想我會瘋的…然後…昨晚他們叫我一起開會，開到了差不多半夜，我都快睡著了，真是漫長的一天。有點被嚇到，雖然老師是喊著我的名字說我通過了。很多人都離開了比賽…他們召集全部400人，宣佈其中只有106人

通過。起初有點緊張，害怕沒有我…但當我的名字被念到時我卻覺得麻木…我曾經是很情緒化而且會哭的人…但這次…沒什麼感覺。我其實料到我通過了，比賽時評

委評價都不錯…我猜到了…但是我看到周圍年輕的選手們都激動得哭了…我幾乎為自己沒跟他們一樣激動覺得有些難過。對他們來說入選是很大的事情，我的意思

是，對我也很重要…但，這次是他們職業生涯的開始。覺得我長大了、因為這次通過了而激動會覺得有些奇怪，對我來說，我想盡力做好每件事…但並不一定都要有

結果。做什麼事都有原因，如果做到了就是值得的…如果沒有，那一定還有更好的東西適合我。同時，我同情那些沒通過的選手，又被喜極而泣的選手感動著。觀察

這些事情很有意思。我第一次覺得自己真正成熟了…

另外，我會找到人翻譯的…等著…简体中文：是的…昨天是我第一次上台表演，我在大约70人中第22个上场，昨天是型秀比赛400进100的最后一天。原本打算用耳麦的，但后来导演给了我话筒，说音效会比较好。所以…我对自己的表演有点不自信…不象我自己希望的那样好。事实上，我们很早就起床来到录音棚，我嗓子都没打开。所以…只能在下次表演时表现得更好。评委们都对我评价不错…但我不真的觉得好，我知道自己只表现了60%。我对自己不满意，觉得有点麻木。但还有希望，我下次会好好热身，一定会表现得更好。可能是因为感觉自己有点格格不入，我始终觉得我不适合这个比赛。原以为是音乐剧演员的评选…本来觉得好棒…我是其中的一员…但是，所有人都唱流行音乐，而且大家都非常年轻而且没有舞台经验。我不知道是这种状况，试着不去想负面的东西。我努力回想参加比赛的初衷…这是我在内地开始职业生涯的好机会。但很难…我试着跟妈妈聊起这事（我们很亲近，什么事都谈）但是…我不认为她完全了解我的处境。尽管如此，她还是给我写了那么长而可爱（因为里面有好些拼写和语法错误）的邮件。我知道她希望我能做最好的自己，她总是让我乐观面对事情。我在努力…真的在努力…但是，如果你在一群这么小的孩子中间觉得自己很另类，没办法融入…而且没有真正的朋友可以谈话…真的很难。我也有情绪高低起伏的时候…幸运的是上帝帮了我，否则我想我会疯的…于是…昨晚他们叫我一起开会，开到了差不多半夜，我都快睡着了，真是漫长的一天。有点被吓到，虽然老师是喊着我的名字说我通过了。很多人都离开了比赛…他们召集全部400人，宣布其中只有106人通过。起初有点紧张，害怕没有我…但当我的名字被念到时我却觉得麻木…我曾经是很情绪化而且会哭的人…但这次…没什么感觉。我其实料到我通过了，比赛时评委评价都不错…我猜到了…但是我看到周围年轻的选手们都激动得哭了…我几乎为自己没跟他们一样激动觉得有些难过。对他们来说入选是很大的事情，我的意思是，对我也很重要…但，这次是他们职业生涯的开始。觉得我长大了、因为这次通过了而激动会觉得有些奇怪，对我来说，我想尽力做好每件事…但并不一定都要有结果。做什么事都有原因，如果做到了就是值得的…如果没有，那一定还有更好的东西适合我。同时，我同情那些没通过的选手，又被喜极而泣的选手感动着。观察这些事情很有意思。我第一次觉得自己真正成熟了…

另外，我会找到人翻译的…等着…