Why I dig being a fag hag.

Hi, I'm a fag hag. I love being a fag hag. What is a fag hag then? Have u met one before? Ever heard the definition of a "perfect" guy?

It used to puzzle me as well why I get along so well with the sistas. Notice I said sistas and not "sistas". If u aren't that familiar with your lovely gay pals, I suggest u try not to single them or alienate them with " " , cos really,small details like this gets to them,and I totally agree.

My gay pals,every one of them are talented beyond my mind. Now I'm serious when I say talented. They are so quick at catching jokes,that they laugh at me when I obviously am always the half-a-second-later- dumbass and some of them think my clueless expression is so funny that they can somehow,no matter how,drag me into the joke after it's been cracked at somebody,something else. I'm sure u know wad I mean.I hung out with them so much at one point,they kept saying I was lesbian but totally closeted. I then went on to tell them that they subscribed too much Freudian theories and that by default almost every woman is supposed to be innately bisexual and they retorted that the masculine side of me can almost bewilder them just that,my feminine looks are deceiving and is my greatest decoy.

Did I just say they were smart. Very.

It's true u know. I have an extremely masculine character. I'm sure other girls are somewhat the same if they like being independent and free spirited individuals. But the strange thing about my "masculinity" since young is that I will always be gentler and nicer to girls. And that when some of my friends got hurt or cheated/misled by some scum,I always run to rescue them. U know,I'm really a peaceloving person,and I actually love the idea of the world being benevolent and nice but once I see an innocent girl bullied by her boyfriend,like getting slapped in public, boy,I really turn into something else.

I forget that I am only 5'3 and not the muscled man I imagine I am. But I'd have no qualms about stridding up to SCUM #1 and telling him in his ugly,cruel face how many creative ways I think he should try to roast his ass. Sometimes my gay buddies tell me they gasp when "Lydia turns into a dominatrix!!!!!" They tell me I am a lamb,a really harmless one but when irate really not far from wielding my crackwhip.

They then tell me again how repressed I am and that I should just go ahead and be the dyke that I am. Now this amuses me greatly,because one of my dyke friends actually believe that I am not just secretly lesbian, I am pure lesbian. What is that u ask?

A pure lesbian is a girl who looks like a girl,totally feminine and falls for another totally feminine girl of the same type. Which means it's not being attracted to a boyish girl. Got that? This all feels very high school material,but really the most intense period of my life in college was really being surrounded by my gay buddies. I love them. One of my best friends is completely gay but he can pull off a straight man thing so well,U'd be inclined to think he's confused. But trust me,he is so gay that I once fell on the floor when I went to his house to realize he had 6 different mirrors,3 of which were fat mirrors,3 others the slimming kinds. He also wears an apron better than I do coupled with his headband. I think he purposely picked pink to put me in stiches but gee, I totally love him. For a while everyone thought I was dating him and it was too funny to me that they could not see it.

No gay-dar. Sorry love,gotta be in the hood to understand how it works.

1 of my ex bfs was the epitome symbol for my gay friends. They kept telling me how delicious he was and said that one very day I was going to discover with terror that he had been converted by them. This made me so amused but not quite for my bf then. He used to shift around uneasily and whisper to me that my gay friends were teasing him again,and I'd laugh and said, "Duncha love it when guys and girls both love ya?U should be honoured"

Ever wondered why U simply don't fit in when U are in their company?Or why u feel slightly uncomfortable? Actually these guys are the most in-your-face kindda people,u should be feeling more than comfortable. Because if they really want to,they will retain all tact and give it to u straight. That's why I like asking them for their opinions. If u feel that most gays are fake or nasty and that they are simply unpleasant towards u,i think either u've rubbed them the wrong way or simply u caught them on the wrong day,the wrong time. They too have pms u know.:)

Let me give u an example. One of my friends went to lunch with me and one of my gay buddies. Now my gay buddy is a great guy. Really nice and hilarious,but just like everyone else he needs time warming up to new people. My friend made the mistake of asking too many personal questions and rubbed him the wrong way. It happens alot. Now,when my friend questioned about my ability to say the same things in an even more outrageous way and get away with it, I told him simply that it's clear for everyone that when u first meet a gay friend,do not tred on sensitive waters until he's used to u and decided u're trustworthy enough to be his friend. I can basically tell my diva gay buddy that I think he's a moron,or scheming lil wretched biatch and get away with it. Now,I dunno what will happen to u if u try the same thing.

This thing I admire most about my gay buds is that they have excellent tastes. My gay buds are very polished and ambitious studs. They cut deals with a slick snap of fingers and are such excellent cooks and connoisseurs. They also know everything about fine dinning and wine and I love hanging out with them because they are such immaculate creatures. They also tell me not to trust any guy. Give it to them first they say,sharing is loving. And I would sit there with no expression on my face and continue the conversation,mostly about food. If there is a waiter waiting or watching,he usually clears his throat,looks perturbed or amused. Because for the life of him,he doesn't understand how a girl like me can actually be a fag hag in disguise. It only shows when u listen to us talk. Pls refer to previous blog.

Most gay guys I know are really such wonderful specimens of cleanliness. For a cleanliness freak like me this is an excellent quality. They also have great taste in picking their furniture and decor of their houses. Take Queer Eye for a Guy,I have friends with virtually all the similar qualities and really,just being in their company is such excellent fun I am almost addicted. Actually well I am.Hehe.

Lastly I'm gonna share this amusing detail with u. I once did a play in which I played a devout catholic woman with a repressed gay husband.The actor playing this was actually gay and he has never had to kiss or stage kiss a woman yet and so I was the first girl he was locking lips with. Tongue. That was the funniest play ever,it was rated R because we had the gay themes and also,I played a dominatrix who was totally sadomasochistic. Alright,u're wondering what on earth is this play about that sounds so completely whacked? It was something we did in my college year in theatre school that became a hit with the public that the Arts channel in the TV station offered to buy our scrīpt and make a film out of it. I think it would never have worked because Singapore is such a strictly no frills society and all our themes were super whacked. Anyway back to my main point. My co actor told me that kissing me was really not as horrendous as he thought and trust me I was very flattered.

To be told by a gay that u're ok, it means u're quite nearly awesome!Get it? It was like a medal given to me hahahaha. But it was VERY weird for me to kiss a gay dude because we were "in" character, I had to be very passionate. And just talking about it later made me blush. Don't give me that look. I will still blush if u ask me now. I don't know,it was for the show!!!!!!