back in control

the blog post below was for the benefit of my fans who reach me on MySpace... it doesn't really apply to AnD so much as I've got a different standing with the community here... but, it was quite therapeutic so I'm posting it anyway.  ====not sure what happened with my music between 2005 and 2007 ... I was stupidly hoping that other people would sort my releases out, keep wheels moving ... but blame firmly rests on my own shoulders. partly laziness, partly lack of confidence in the music I was making and partly other distractions ... so for anyone who's been following my music I apologise!!! I hate it when my favourite artists keep quiet for extended periods of time, wondering when the next record is going to drop... so why should you feel any less?

Also, finally making progress with the release of my album has really got my brain going again... having those songs stuck in limbo for such a long time was sapping my will to continue. Now the album is under my control, it's moving (slowly but surely) so I can get on and get back to making music. Today's enthusiastic mind enema reads something like this:

The bad news: The experiment of selling MP3's thru my site was mixed. Sales were promising; but maintaining flaky code, a dog's ass of a back-end combined with people's lack of trust paying small web-sites ... it's going on the back burner again.

The good news: I have sorted out digital distribution deals with iTunes (all territories), eMusic, Amazon, Rhapsody, Napster plus I have a new, self administered deal with Beatport & Beatsource ... so expect to lots of music going up.

the other good news: while digital sales of high res files will continue at the sites mentioned above, I will return to giving away MP3 content on the site in exchange for e-mail addresses. Some of you may remember I got my initial fan base on forums like nubreaks by giving away a tonne of free shit back in the day. It's common now. It sure as hell wasn't back then. My only concern is how this will affect the minimum sales targets I am required to meet on sites such as Beatport. Time will tell. I want to give away music, believe me.

the bad news: My love affair with club music is over. It's not exciting, too many people are trying to outdo each other and I must admit I got caught up in that for too long. A few people innovate while the rest copy and in a last ditch attempt at getting some success I turned into a copier (not necessarily saying I was an innovator before, just I never felt the need to try and "make music for people" in the past). The constraints of trying to make music that 'fits in' just killed me. I can only produce when I'm doing it for myself. Sorry!

the good news: now I'm writing music for myself again, there's more of it! some stuff could fit into a DJ set (if the DJ had some serious balls) while the rest isn't trying to fit anywhere. I love phat hooks, I love industrial, I love hip-hop, I love rock, I love electronic music, I love bad-ass technical editing, I love people screaming into microphones, I love things falling apart and I love ambient & experimental sound design ... so that's what I'm doing now. Some of it seems to work, some of it is too weird for even me to comprehend. All of it is going to get released.

the other good news: I recently (well in the last 18 months) discovered I love making short films. none of them so far have been any good, but the idea of combining pictures and music together interest me. so, at whatever cost, I am trying to make as many music videos as I can afford to, for my tracks. and this is where your money is going if you purchase my music. just so you know!

I am not a gearslut plus I have other income which takes care of the studio rent (mixing chinese pop music to be precise) ... but I do need cash to make music videos. that comes from my record sales.

I must mention AMB at Chi Recordings quickly, he recently commissioned me to remix his new track - a melodic techno affair - called "Pellet". It had been a long long time since I'd remixed something for a small indie label so, fuck it, why not. when I mentioned heavy distortion and whatnot before starting the remix, he was like - yeah do whatever ... and then after he heard it, his initial reaction was "this is a bit fucking strange, but I think it's going somewhere" ... that was encouragement enough. so many times in the past I've done remixes and been asked to change shit, add shit, remove shit ... thanks dude - I hope the release does some damage for your label!!!

the final good news: I've been digging thru my hard-drives ... I've found 6 club tracks which were planned for release but never made it, plus I found a further 4 tracks I didn't have the confidence to finish 'cause the thoughts behind them were extremely strange. fuck it ... now I am finishing them all so expect to see them out in the coming weeks.

thanks again for all the support in the past, sorry to have kept you waiting. I've found myself again :)