"JASMINE" – The Notes Process

It’s time for another blog, I suppose… Man, a lot’s been happening since I wrote the last one.  As many of you already know, I’ve been working on the second draft of “Jasmine,” which has been keeping me extremely busy.  (I’m on page 47 now, for those of you still counting.)  My mom and grandma were supposed to come visit me this past Tuesday and stay with me for a week, but my grandma fell ill and has been in the hospital, so the trip had to be postponed.  (If any of you want to send some positive thoughts her way, I’d very much appreciate it.)  Wladimir Klitschko had his rematch with Lamon Brewster today in Germany, which was exciting.  Klitschko, my favorite active heavyweight, won via a TKO in Round 6 when Brewster decided to quit on his stool.  I actually had the pleasure of meeting Wladimir back in ’04 when he was coming off his devastating, if not shady, KO loss to Brewster.  He was at a real low point – a crossroads in his career, so to speak – and couldn’t have been more friendly and approachable.  It’s great to see that he has fought his way back to the top of the division.  And, finally, my 32nd birthday is coming up tomorrow.  I haven’t been feeling particularly festive as of late, but I’m going to try and enjoy myself anyway.  Perhaps, I’ll arrange a dinner with friends or something.  In fact, I’d probably better do it soon, if I’m going to do it.  Why am I so reluctant?  Anyway, back to the scrīpt.  OK, where was I?  Oh, yes… The first draft.  I officially completed it on June 2nd, 2007 at Jason’s new apartment in Mongkok.  (Actually, if anyone wants to get technical, I finished the draft a few days before that, but it was still in handwritten form and needed to be typed up, so that it resembled a screenplay rather than the diary of a madman.)  As far as first drafts go, it was a relatively quick process.  True, there had been a few false starts, lulls, and interruptions during the year leading up to the first draft’s completion.  However, once I was back in Hong Kong and took the plunge, so to speak, the pages seemed to fill themselves.  Once I was “in it,” I was really in it.  That’s what usually happens, I suppose.  I’ll spend months in my “preparation” phase, before I ever so much as face the blank page.  I even have a few traditions, which, I’m sure, some of you will find positively dorky.  For example, before embarking on a new project, I always make a special field trip to Office Depot.  There, I’ll buy dozens of my favorite pens.  At the moment, I’m a big fan of Pilot G-2 07s (black and red ink only).  In addition to these, I’ll pick up hundreds of 3x5” cards, a new notebook (180 college-ruled pages, at least), maybe a box of printer paper, and always a big, black, three-ring binder with a white label on the spine, which will become forever dedicated to the project.  (My house is full of ‘em.)  Yep, the field trip to Office Depot is always an exciting one.  I’m not kidding, I really enjoy it.  (This could be why I don’t have a girlfriend.)  The next best thing is a 3 a.m. trip to Kinko’s, after I’ve finished a new draft of something, but I’ll save that badboy for another blog.  Once I’ve got my writing supplies covered, I’ll spend months watching films, which are of a similar genre, reading books on related subjects, and making notes about my impressions the whole time.  (I rarely find that I refer to these notes during the actual writing process, but I’m convinced that the note-taking process helps me internalize them, in some subconscious way.  Or something.)  I’ll also spend a great deal of time on the internet and at the library, reading, printing, copying, and highlighting articles and photographs, which may prove useful.  Then, finally, after a few months of this crap, my brain reaches critical mass, I say, “fuck it,” and dive into the actual writing of the first draft, which usually takes about 4-6 weeks.  Overall, I’d say that the first draft of “Jasmine” probably took about four weeks altogether.  The first week, which was comprised of a series of false starts, was spread out over a year.  The second week was spent on the first twenty pages before I left for Hong Kong in May.  And, then, the last two weeks was spent during the first half of my stay in HK.  However, although the process of writing the first draft was relatively quick, it was hardly painless.  As I wrote in the previous blog, I was exorcising a lot of personal demons.  This was probably therapeutic, but it wasn’t a whole lot of fun.  This scrīpt was coming from a very dark place.  Fortunately for me, I had a lot of support.  Jason’s two cats, Kubrick and Lolita, were there for me the whole way...    When I finally typed “The End,” the scrīpt weighed in at 89 pages.  This was 9 pages longer than my initial estimate, but it was still the shortest scrīpt that I’d ever written, by a long shot.  (Back at AFI, I was notorious for turning in overlong scrīpts – so notorious, in fact, that my teacher used to impose sanctions against me.  If I dared to turn in anything longer than 135 pages, then I would be forced to pick up his son from school for a week.  In my two years at AFI, I picked that kid up from school ten times.)  Also, I knew that the added length was mostly due to the many notes that I’d made to myself in a number of scenes, all of which would be omitted during writing of the second draft, thereby reducing the overall page count.  In other words, I was, more or less, right on target.  Now, it was time to print.  Jason had recently purchased a brand new printer for his brand new office in his brand new apartment, but we didn’t have any paper… or so I thought.  When I asked Jason if he had any, he directed my attention to what appeared to be a cellophane-wrapped package about four inches thick, eight or so inches wide, and over a foot long.  I was like, “What the hell is that?”  He was like, “Paper.”  I picked it up.  Sure enough, it felt like a ream of paper.  It weighed about the same as a ream of paper.  It smelled like a ream of paper.  There was just one problem… It was, in my rough estimation, about two inches longer than the standard 8.5x11” paper that I use in the States.  It was, I quickly realized, limey paper!  This.  Was.  Bad.  As some of you might have noticed from reading my blogs, there are a few things that, in terms of my writing and my writing supplies, I’m very particular about.  I like certain kinds of pens when I write, certain kinds of brads to hold my scrīpts together, certain kinds of cardstock for the front and back covers of my scrīpts, etc.  I also like 8.5x11” freakin’ paper to print my freakin’ scrīpts out on!  I mean, seriously, why do the Brits use this shit?  I’ll tell you why.  To piss me off!  Back when I was interning for Mace Neufeld, every time a Brit would send us a scrīpt from across the pond, it was printed out on this crap.  And, when making copies, we had to take the damn scrīpts apart and run them through the copier by hand, one page at a time.  Do you know how many times I had to do this?  I don’t even know.  But it was a lot and, ever since, I’ve had issues.  Clearly.  (Note to self: Be sure to take REAL paper with you during next trip to HK.)  Anyway, we eventually printed out two copies of the first draft on this limey crap.  Now, it was time for each of us to read the scrīpt and to compose our notes.  And I was nervous.  I should mention here that I never let anyone read my first drafts.  Never.  Even when I’m working on assignment, I always allow myself enough time to rewrite my first draft before submitting it to the producers.  Why?  Because first drafts, more often than not, are bad.  They’re first drafts.  They’re supposed to be bad.  It’s almost a rule.  Once in a long while, I can deliver a first draft that’s approximately 85% there.  Generally, however, they’re closer to 70%, which is why most contracts stipulate that the writer must deliver two drafts and a polish.  In terms of the first draft of “Jasmine,” I honestly felt that the scrīpt was somewhere in the vicinity of 75% there.  Had I been in L.A., I would have done a quick polish before sending it off to Jason.  But I was in HK, I had about a week and a half left, Jason had made himself available to me, and the clock was ticking.  And so, we got to work… Armed with our respective copies of the scrīpt, we each went into our separate rooms, closed the doors, and read.  I finished reading and making notes within a few hours.  The scrīpt was still very fresh in my head and, unlike other first drafts I’ve written in the past, I felt that I had a surprising amount of perspective in terms of what kinds of changes needed to be made.  Specifically, to use just a few examples, I thought the structure was a little funky.  There were a few places where I felt time was too compressed.  They needed to breathe more… and I had ideas on how to accomplish this.  In addition to that, I felt that some of the scenes were in the wrong place and needed to be reordered.  I also had concerns about the theme.  What was our story really about?  From the time that Jason and I first started batting the idea around to the time that the first draft was completed, the theme seemed to have changed on us slightly.  I composed notes to these effects.  After a couple more hours, I was starting to wonder if maybe Jason had fallen asleep in his room because he hadn’t made a sound and hadn’t come out, not even to use the restroom.  At last, he emerged.  If I was nervous before, I was petrified now.  What did he think?  Did he hate it?  He must hate it!  What was he doing in there the whole time?  Did the scrīpt make him fall asleep?  Was he trying to figure out how to let me down easy?  I was an absolute mess.  Finally, Jason mentioned that he had, in fact, finished the scrīpt.  Although he wanted very much to read it a second time before discussing any real big notes, he did say that he thought the quality of the writing was good.  (By the way, this is usually what people in the development world say right before they pass on something.)  One of Jason’s concerns pertained to the antagonist.  Like the theme, this character had changed.  It wasn’t that Jason didn’t like the new “take” on the character, but it wasn’t what he originally had in mind.  He, too, was concerned about the theme and how it had changed.  And, lastly, he thought we needed to find ways to make the story more rooted in Hong Kong.  As we walked to the gym later that evening, Jason complimented me on my work ethic.  I had finished the first draft and that was a big deal.  But he felt like I hadn’t taken enough time during my trip to immerse myself in the nightlife of Hong Kong, which is featured prominently in the scrīpt.  I knew he was right about this, but hated to admit to it.  I’m not sure why exactly… I think a lot of my reluctance had to do with my fear that, if I enjoyed myself too much, then the scrīpt would suffer as a result.  Ironic, isn’t it?  Later that night, while eating dumplings and drinking Heinekens, I told Jason that I was pretty happy with the changes made in regard to the antagonist, but understood how they might have come as a bit of a shock to him.  I made him a deal: I would spend the rest of my time in HK outlining the second draft, during which I would change the antagonist back to who he was in the beginning.  If it worked better, we’d keep it.  If not, we’d stick to the new version of the character.  I felt pretty strongly that, for the sake of the story’s overall dynamic, the new version worked best.  But you never know.  For the rest of the meal, we discussed the change and its impact on the story overall.  The next morning, as I was preparing to embark on the outline for the second draft, Jason informed me that, after having slept on it, he agreed that the new version of the antagonist worked better overall.  It was simple math, really.  By changing the character back to who he was in the beginning, the story would lose too many aspects that we both really liked.  This was a relief.  For the remainder of my trip, I now had one purpose – actually, scratch that – two purposes: to finish the outline for the second draft and to make up for lost time in the HK club scene.  In terms of the latter, Terence, Patrick, Stephen, Boon, and the boys would prove to be a big help… To be continued in the next installment: “Jasmine – The Last 777,600 Seconds in HK.”