being more AWARE

randomly submitted (no point, just sharing thoughts)

I have had the blessing of crossing paths with people in my life in a way that may seem random but come at a time that seems very deliberate. Random things are said, actions are made, a simple exchange that can make me more aware of myself. I tend to reflect on each day to see what I could of learned about relationships with people and myself. But sometimes there needs to be the exchange to be the catalyst for change of thought patterns.

a friend said to me recently, after reading one of my blogs. "be aware of your thoughts". I'm a simple brutha, and sometimes less gets me more. lol. be aware of your thoughts. Not a new concept by any means, but it struck a cord with me.

I tend to write when I need to filter out some energy I'm dealing with. Sometimes that energy is very intense of negative to some degree. I swear a lot so I'm sure it adds extra intensity. I've also been working at home for the last 12 years as a freelance artist and I happen to be a sociable kind of guy who is pretty much not because of my lifestyle....so needless to say, that can add to it as well..lol

I have fought many demons in the past 3 years....well, 36 years, but the last 3 have been real focused and more aware than I've ever been.  I have many mistakes, fallen down many times and expect to fall  many more. Sometimes the anger, the swearing, the fight in me keeps me going, gives me a little of art-offical fuel. But I do have tons of hope. Tons of belief in myself and others. I have fire from my ancestors and conviction from my soul and I know my time here is short and blessed.

My biggest battle is that I give my power away and it tends to leave me unable to give in the manner which I desire. I'm sure many can relate. This situation usually turns un healthy.

I embrace the balance of light and dark but sometimes entertain both sides too long. So occassionally I come onto a blog and share my more intense feelings. I don't know why, I always made fun of people with diaries and blogs. lol

The internet is great but sometimes we can misrepresent ourselves by only focusing

on one aspect of ourselves...and maybe thats a good thing too, so many people always say to not say too much, don't let everyone in...well, I'm not saying I subscribe to any one way of thinking but maybe I can come off like I do.

HA! your greatest enemy, no doubt. facing ourselves, knowing we are not what we think, we are not what we say even.

We just are.

but most aren't even aware. so I give myself a little credit and continue.lol

thanks for reading my random  thought