Seven Waves of Creation (for all the writers out there!)

Hold true or appease? I know the voice inside speaks to me from a space of transcendent awareness that I just am too compressed and self absorbed to understand. But I listen to it anyway. It happens like this: the first wave is a push toward "something else", the conception of a movement, the call to change. The second wave washes me clean of accepted reality, freeing my perspective and filling me with inspiration, the catalyst bringing new life, new sound, new views. The third wave signals formation. Ideas slow down and become physical, become tangible. The fourth wave shapes the third, bringing creativity into the context of humanity and relative perception. Otherwise known as "art for people". The fifth wave, over the years, seems to be shrinking in size- when I first began creating music, I would entertain the feeling of accomplishment as long as I could... now, after a decade of composing, this moment of satisfaction at a completed work is not as gratifying or coveted as before. In fact, I seem to derive greater joy from the actual process itself of creativity, to the point of sometimes leaving songs unfinished purposefully just to bask in the uncertainty and potential of multiple forms and outcomes. The sixth wave is the one I'm feeling right now as I write this. It's a feeling of fear, of sadness, a touch from the cold hands of failure- the after taste of birth. Postpartum depression, I think it's called? hehe 9 years of visioning, hoping, praying, focus, work, creation, dreaming. A dream is blurry because it is made of trillions of possible versions of one dream. The reality now is just one of the versions... or is it? The seventh wave... what is the seventh wave? They say it is Love. Maybe it is, but it is something else, too, at least from this view. It is acceptance, a truer letting go, a deeper trust, and maybe it's also a decision to nurture a born vision, an infant dreamchild. The creator is the parent. Time may signify change, but if we want to bring something into this world, it is a commitment beyond one moment. And so, in creating, I am eventually created anew by the creation itself. Its existence shapes mine, as I had once shaped its. With this perspective, what becomes important is not creating to appease the desires of people. It is following the inner explorer on a journey of discovery and authentic expression. I don't want the particular; I want the real. The seventh wave is a remembering; a reunion with one's initial inspiring moment of revelation. And being in touch with that is giving from the source of creation.