We don't like to lose

Happy New Year everybody! I hope 2013 has been kind to you! It's been great to me so far and I'm trying my best to stay focused and balanced without burning out. So far so good.

So I've started reading (well listening to, since it's an Audiobook) Sway and I think I'm growing more and more fascinated with human psychology. I literally look forward to plugging this into my ears and listening to how people become irrational under different circumstances and theories behind why.

It talks about how powerful the fear of losing is that we easily end up digging ourselves a deeper hole than we started out. It makes you rethink a lot of things, about how you commitments are like 2-edged swords where it can either become a great motivator or literally make you crash and burn voluntarily. The more successful people I meet, the more I learn that their biggest challenges aren't really their work or what needs to be done, but the balance in trying to be realistic while still embracing the world of the unknown. Speaking of the unknown, I've recently started playing Hitman: Blood Money (yes it's been out a while) and I've got Hitman: Absolution lined up followed by Dishonored (thank you Steam Holiday Sale, you have burned my wallet once again). The game is both hard and difficult, depending on how you want to play it. I am absolutely loving it because it totally fits into the human psychology that I am growing so fond of, along with that . In the games, I could be a violent, just-get-the-job-done-at-all-costs and just go out with guns, kill everyone and run off, or try to stay focused and only work towards eliminating my assigned targets (that's the cool thing about the game, it's possible to go in, not get noticed, do your job, and leave).

Along with my obsession to log stuff down and my need to find the absolutely most efficient/productive method in what I do, I'm getting obsessed reading about how humans form impressions (especially first ones) and how they have such a strong impact on the rest of your decision making process that it could totally sway you for the rest of your life.

This is exactly like the thesis I wrote in University where I talked about how a lot of art and artists have this around them that makes people value them at a different level, regardless of the quality of their artwork. I suppose this applies to all forms of artistic expression. Heck, as a comedian, I get this as well. Just last night, I was on as the closing act of the show and I suppose this both gives me an edge because people have this impression that the closing act is going to be good, but also giving me extra pressure because now people are you to be good. I had a bunch of new stuff I wanted to use but it's always a tough call how to interleave my material with new stuff so the audience isn't left there checking their tickets to see if tonight was actually an open mic.

Well, I guess at the end of the day, whatever impression you have around you through whatever means, it boils down to your integrity as a person to quality control your creative outlet. As long as you approve of what you're producing, I suppose at the end of the day, if no one likes what you're doing, you can still smile while you enjoy it.

Speaking of enjoying it, it's Saturday, I got a bunch of that I should tend to (so I can play Hitman in later tonight before bed). Oh gaming addiction, you are such a great motivator and time waster, but at least you make me think and no one gets hurt.