Not Myself

It was this morning that I came to a great realization that I have not been myself lately.Ever since I quit smoking, I have noticed an increase in anger, hate and rebellion that has never existed in my bones. I ignored it and continued to believe I was the good natured prick I have always been but no. This time round - it's devilish. I have a lot of frustration working in this industry. I do not need to bad mouth, what you hear people bitch about the music industry is all true. But that has never bothered me. I am a person who has been at peace with himself till recently.Ever since I quit smoking. While I love my new smoke free life, I absolutely hate the feeling of not smoking. It helped me remain calm and now that I don't have it, my obsessive behavior is fully kicking in. The truth is- many of my friends are too nice to tell me that I have become an unbearable ass hole of late. In fact, the ones I work with must be scratching their heads wondering why I have switched from night to day.I am mad at a lot of things that I would never care about prior. I am not even denying this. I have gone to an extreme and either I kick it or it is going to kick me in the butt.It is easy to say that quitting smoking is just an excuse I am giving myself but I can pin point the exact physical urge, place in my body, the sensation on my nerve that is itching for a fight- it is that same place at the back of your throat behind your tongue.It is driving me insane and I have decided to take action.