I've been having a deep misunderstanding with my best friend/brother/business partner and it's really be disrupting work quite a bit. But it's not one built on hate but because everyone is so passionate to achieve the same goal. It's unfortunate because it's a case of wrong assumptions.
It led me to think as I was on the way home this evening of whether I enjoy what I do. People often say there's no many in music. They are right. There's a lot of free shit and there's money but not real money unless you're a superstar. I on the other hand simply just loves creation. The process, the execution and the result. I repeat it daily and i get better.
But no one gets anywhere alone. I have always gravitated myself towards big dreamers with often a much more agressive nature than me. A friend thinks I choose to do that so i can blame people should anything go wrong. I differ on that. I know my nature. I was raised by the principles of a man 60 years my senior, born on the same day as me, same zodiac everything and even as me and caretake nailed the top of his coffin, he looked as good as i do. So i saw myself and I saw a gentle person. I am agressive with my ambitions and things i want to achieve but I just don't have it in my blood to be agressive or antagonistic. Meaning, I don't ever attack. But when provoked, I will make sure I offer a mature discussion about a beef, should it continue, I'll be happy to roll. My belief is to always approach people with patience. It fuckin helps man...
I remembered my grandpa would take me for a drive or to Mcdonald's or to Magic Island at times when I would have it bad with my folks as a kid. He never got mad. He always listened to what I had to say, my side, whether I was 6 or 9 or 15. He always listened to hear what it was. Then he would explain how my mother felt. He would even politely tell me that there was a bit of bias cause she was his daughter and he made sure i understood that. He was a fair person who always connected with any human being with nothing but the purest form of sincerity.
He always listened to my ridiculous dreams of being a movie director after we watched The Last Emperor when I was.....10. He told me to start writing a scrīpt. I think I've been writing that particular scrīpt my whole life and still having gotten anywhere wiht it. But nevetheless, he always just told me to go for what I want. I think back and I guess he lived his life from Beijing to Hong Kong and the rest of eternity on a nice plot in Manoa. He was not rich but he was not poor. He had raised a small family and when he retired from working at a branch of the Bank of Hawaii, he was a happy man who had lived a colorful life...a meaningful complete life.
Which brings me back to the thought:
I've been shit out of luck for a couple years. And things have gotten so good for me and the bonus is, the last couple of years have made me such a more grown up person. It's helped my music and I am glad to say I spent 6 years pursuing a music producer career and I excelled.
Now at where I am, I am ready to explore songwriting as an timeless art form and spend more time working in the grown up world. I will find a nice job that will let me excel further with my music. But the time will show up when it does...
The "fall out" with a friend made me realize that it is through these experiences that will land me where my grandpa was at the end of his life - absolute satisfaction. So i welcome these bad days and I cherish the good days.....
tomorrow's only a day away...
take a picture, snap....