2.9 months...12.4 weeks...87 days...2088 hrs...since my last post.
it's so typical of me though...to procrastinate to the point of mental lassitude...to neglect to the point where boredom sets in....to deny to the degree of unintentional abandonment...( have i just sub- consciously summed up all the issues i may have with "intimacy"...haha )...this holds true with xanga, blogspot, friendster and any other blogger type devices i have attempted to progressively update...please excuse my Aquarian ways...with that said...i refuse to relapse with AND...and yes there's just too much at stake!

well where do i begin. so much has happened since. leisure wise...the unforgettable trip to the Beijing Olympics....getting lost (and fat) in Ho chi minh city...on the work front...the new club videos we have and will continue to produce...the clothing line we are about to launch...the fast food restaurant which will open at the end of the month...and to save the best for last...i've completed a pivotal step in garnering more commercial interest for my "baby" project...the stars have been aligning in my favor as of late...i'm happy for that...or am i?...contentment is still an allure through my eyes...spiritually i've attained a deeper understanding for the state of "nothingness"...i've finally realized that having no thoughts could just as well be the key to having more thoughts...inspired and positive thought, per se...but without making this entry sound too much like a picturesque afternoon special...over the past months, my mind has at times teetered over towards the realm of the unilluminated. struggling between self deception,  addiction and that constant void of wanting to sustain that artistic edge. the need for affrimation lead me to this article by SAMUEL G. FREEDMAN published some 13 years ago.  If all goes as planned his article could very well be my salvation.

HOW INNER TORMENT FEEDS THE CREATIVE SPIRIT
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B0DE7DF1338F934A25752C1A963948260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=

to end...big ups to all that have provided unconditional support over the last couple of months...the prime directive has certainly not changed...in fact it's only the approach and delivery that has shifted for the better...creating change is a muthafucka...but man..somebodies gotta kill it...might as well be we.

'til next juncture. court is adjourned.
Stanley

P.S

T.I - No Matter What
a lil something to help when you can sense that morose overcast setting in. T.I shines as usual.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvkQU95BbmE

it was the look beyond the dreadful eyes within..
comprised of the dimming shimmer scheduled to begin..
alone, i tried to compensate for my minds tearful dress...
it was constrained by the fact that my soul showed no regrets...
so its true that impulsive reactions help weave the womb...
and also true that self awareness composes the room...
for then my livelihood finally breaths, untroubled..
lessened by my darkened lungs, it was pitched but sutble...

befriended...entranced...blur stigmatics stuck around
then suddenly...silence...envy and greed snuck around...

impervious fruits ripped like contentment...
the eyes flickered moments before the incision...
jaded bulletins of hopes and dreams slouched over,
it was motionless..
the devalued granite ascended,
none opposing them..
years of tiring searches has induced a frigit effect..
my organs no longer functioned as the fiscal parable came to rest...
moral decay..rich, the thickness vanquished...
views were that the torches had to be babied not tampered with...
even though the haze has faded....
much success, agreements...
they wish the opposite...
we saw much disagreements...
seams of deceit...it was only the long journeys that ended in strangulations...
the embodied spirit...dampened...drenched...like abrupt accusations...
dreams derailed off paddings of what was told...
hold the young close...this wasn't the life they chose...
and as hoaxes continue to contaminate minds...
to further the future the absolute all must be left behind...

today's itinerary showed clear skies in all departments...
thought i would hit up one of my favorite chill spots for some bubble tea...stinky tofu and wi-fi abuse...i noticed that at one point everybody seated on the second floor were ridin' solo...as if it was premeditated by upper management to have all the loners partitioned upstairs hidden to all the civic pedestrians passing by. This in turn wouldn't effect the establishments overzealous image of being a fun and lively place for urban socialites to congregate, converse and discuss their latest material purchases. How cool would it be if there was a coffee shop that only seated individuals. comfortable recliners that were strategically lined up for those who find connection in being in a public place, alone. it can be called "solitary en.joy.ment - for only the lonley/s" ok the name's shit but maybe it could work. i looked around and wondered if the people around me were alone by choice or by circumstance. the lady sitting directly adjacent to me is deeply into her novel so i assume she's here by choice. the man beside me looks pretty focused on devouring his food by the kilos so i assume he hasn't eaten in days. the teenager on the far right has been staring aimlessly into oblivion for the longest time now so i'm guessing he just wants to be in a place where he can sulk and be depressed. i can't really see what the elderly women is doing behind me so i'm thinking she's probably knitting a sweater for her grandchild that's just about to celebrate his big 3.0.  As far as the female sitting close to the stairs, from my observations she's been frantically on phone. dialing, talking and doing more dialing. maybe she's the type that can't stand to be alone but under the circumstances has no choice. at this point, a table of 4 walks upstairs and is seated to my right. all hits the fan. our collective for solitude has officially been compromised therefore this blog will no longer serve anymore relevance. damn it jim.



"booth snap for the nosy..."
later y'all

it's 9am...eyelids saggy...
after 4:20am i was no longer sleepy...
deadline coming up...i was focused tonight...
i'm happy about that....
stumbled upon some old files...been reminiscing since
flipping through my visual diaries...
and some random computerized notes...
the same time last year i was trying to cheer someone up...
conventional ways would never work with her....
so i tried glamour, style and romanticism...
she smirked
methodical approaches always produces results
i was alleviated

share time


                                     

i had a chance to visit a good friend of mine earlier this afternoon. the way we kick it has always been the same. we just chill and talk. the spirit of curiosity and the provocation of conscious thought is undoubtedly the obtruding commonality that keeps our friendship unique. If only we could document our conversations, the way we analyze, decrypt and foresee all the elements in the construction of our lives.  It would be a trip to watch the footage in 10 years to see if any of our prophetic insights had any basis. A psychological argument right would be that we were we just a bunch of delude geeks so obsessed with eccentricity that we have completely asked that our left hemisphere take dominance. And It's a shame that I can only have these conversations with a selected few, i'm sure of this because i've gotten alot of confused "whats?' and sardonic "nods" from friends and colleagues alike. It doesn't bother me though. Cause i mean, that only just validates everything that we are so passionately cuckoo about. the truth is always stranger than fiction and that, is the damn truth. the crazy thing about it is that this information is everywhere. we just need to open our eyes and minds. it's hardly a conspiracy anymore. there's enough information out here and believers to confirm that this shit is real.  that's why it's so love and hate with my boy. i love the conversations we have but it's the days following it. my obsession and quest for the truth re-ignites. i find myself spending days researching and researching. finding out everything i can about 2012, the Annanuki, the Sumerians, Reptilians, David Icke, Alex Jones, Masons, superior blood lines...it goes on and on. Which hinders no doubt hinders the progression towards my undaunted destination. But then T always says" what's the rush, you're going to get there anyways". To top it off he lent me this book he just finished reading. "Born on a Blue Day - Inside the extrodinary mind of an autistic savant"  The real life account of the Daniel Tammet who has unimaginable mental powers.  He has an amazing affinity to see and feel numbers in shapes, colors and textures and can perform extraordinary mathematical equations in his head. After the first page i discovered that he was born on Jan. 28th. So it is true, we are the geniuses of the zodiac. But seriously, it looks like its going to be a fascinating read. Good night guys. I'm tired.