Almost 5 years ago, my brother, Reuben Kee, was one of five boys who drowned in a tragic dragon-boating accident in Cambodia.
A few days ago, I allowed myself some time to sit and miss him.
You see, when the event transpired, I was so clammed shut with emotions that I could not write.
Ironic, me being a songwriter and whatnot...
But inspiration is a tricky fella.
Almost 5 years later, I find myself remembering - the disbelief that he was really gone.
I think one of the most difficult things about death is that it usually happens suddenly... and well, lasts forever.
When my brother passed, I sometimes wanted to run away from my house.
The jarring "sameness" of everyday life was contrasted by the fact that nothing was ever going to be the same again.
I remember my mother being so devastated, she kept thinking he would just open the door and walk back into our house.
We've come a long way since then.
I strongly believe that it is not enough just to survive... we must also THRIVE.
Death is a fundamental part of life, and nothing on earth is permanent.
We took one step at a time, one day at a time..., and slowly but surely, we learned to live life again - without him.
But that hole is still very much there... still where he left it.
So this song is perhaps one of many other songs I shall write about the brother I miss so much.
Not with us anymore, but never forgotten.
We love you Reuben.
LYRICS:Where did you go
when I turned around
you were there just a while ago
You walked along this life so strong
how could you suddenly be gone
And I am waiting for the moment
you return
I am waiting for the door to open
I am waiting to hear your voice
But where did you go, you're not here.
Where did you go
in the blink of an eye
you were gone and I did not know
I cannot see how you disappeared
from my life in a wisp of wind
Maybe someday I will understand
Maybe someday I will see
Why the Lord had to take you from me
but for now, you are gone, you're not here.
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