Put the Past Where it Belongs - Behind You.

Humans are sentimental creatures.

We are often haunted by ghosts of the past which linger in our memories and hinder our ability to be/stay happy.

Having been through the death of a sibling and a divorce (at about the same time), I believe in leaving the last where it is... in the past.

I read somewhere once that dealing with a divorce is often like dealing with a death.

I think that's quite true. Except that when it comes to an actual death, you actually want to keep the memories alive.

Personally, I'd rather forget as much as I can about my failed relationships.

I'm feeling that longing creeping up on me again.

The need to belong to someone.

Which, at this point, I deem a bad thing.... because I see absolutely no prospects around me.

I just don't seem to have any of the right chemistry with anyone.

I haven't felt the need to be with someone... so strongly... since maybe three years ago.

I've become so happy being by myself.

It's uncomplicated, comfortable, and smooth-sailing.

I'm generally a lot more happy single than I ever was when attached.

(Does this speak of my adapting to singlehood? Or perhaps my bad taste for uncompatible men?)

Anyway..., I'm just feeling very tangled up right now.

Thought to get it out.

I'm half mad at the way things have turned out in my life,

half blase and all like "whatever",

half desperate for change,

and half completely terrified to be any other way than now.

That adds up to being twice confused.

OK I'm done psycho-babbling.