A Game for Oscars 2009

Teehehehe...

Drinking Games: 'Oscars 2009'

Thursday, February 19 2009, 15:26 GMT
By Alex Fletcher, Senior Entertainment Reporter

Rex Features

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While the Oscars are undoubtedly the biggest red carpet event of the year, they are also almost always a fairly dour affair. With Hugh Jackman presenting rather than the traditional comedian, and victories for Kate Winslet and Heath Ledger seeming almost inevitable, this year's gong ceremony at LA's Kodak Theatre may be even more predictable than usual. To bring back some pizazz and sparkle to the occasion, DS brings you a drinking game accompaniment for the evening.Rule One - Drink a shot each time God is mentioned during an acceptance speech.Rule Two

• Down another shot when they follow it up with thanks to their mum and dad, the director, their agent and their deceased pet hamster Cyril, who really got them through the hard times.Rule Three

• Keep supping beer whenever the band strike up a tune, politely informing any winner that it's time to stop blathering on and bugger off back to their seat.Rule Four

  • Crack into the whiskey each time there's a shot of a weepy star during Heath Ledger's best supporting actor victory.Rule Five

• On any occasion Barack Obama is mentioned or the phrase "Yes we can!" is used, glug some vodka. If anyone cracks a tiresome gag about George Bush to earn some cheap applause, glug some more.Rule Six

  • Each time the camera pans to Jack Nicholson grinning like a lunatic in the audience, have a spirit and mixer of your choice.Rule Seven

• Have a double spirit each time a gormless presenter asks someone on the red carpet, 'You look utterly fabulous! What are you wearing tonight darling?'Rule Eight

  • Swig a couple of fingers of gin for each tear you spot on Kate Winslet's cheeks.Rule Nine
  • Whenever any winner uses the phrases "amazing experience" or "wonderful people", help yourself to a very large glass of wine.Rule Ten
  • Down all your remaining drinks if Robert Downey Jr invades the stage blacked up as Kirk Lazarus from Tropic Thunder and demands the best supporting actor gong off Heath Ledger.