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randomly talking to an old friend today, we reminisced silly high school things. all through my high school years, i had two best friends dale and chris. we were as nerdy as you can get though i somehow found my way amongst a group of skater kids too in order to separate myself at times. we were nerdy enough to play magic cards (remember those) and sit on the side of the school doing stupid things from having ice spitting contest to playing with yo-yos. yes that was me.

after school we would walk to my friends house where we would play smashing pumpkins, weezer, green day, and nirvana songs on guitar, then waste time watching MTV (when they actually played music videos).

anyhow, i'm rushing this story because i'm a bit tired. enter girl. niki. i think i sat next to her in AP history class during junior year. somehow someway, we started talking to each other on the phone every night. and being the stupid kid i was like a lot of kids that age, it was awkward in every possible way. basically, the school year went on... and i remember the week of homecoming i was talking to her and i wanted to so badly ask her to go. i even talked to her the night before when she regrettably told me she wasn't going because she had no date. sorry, i didn't pick up the signal. and part of me was scared logistically how it would play out if i did? ie. who would drive us? how would we get there? i have no money! i live too far? everything seems so dramatic at that age.

so that change came and went. which brings me back to my two best friends dale and chris. see, they were also in the same history class, but only dale knew of what was going on with my lovelorn crush. i would talk to him every night after talking to her to assess what was said (guys do this too girls). meanwhile, chris was also always flirting with niki in class... and would occasionally tease me because since niki and i talked often, we had things to talk about and refer to outside of class.

long story short and i've no clue how it happened.

i was sidebusted by chris. i believe he was encouraged by another friend to ask her to some dance.

they became boyfriend/girlfriend. they were each others first kisses. all that fancy mushy stuff. i think chris knew that i always liked niki but we never spoke of it. once they started dating, dale called chris once and his sister picked up and told us "not to wait for him anymore for lunch as he was going to eat with niki and her friends." it was clear to us. i spent the rest of the school year secretly shunning chris. a guy i knew since 3rd grade. a guy i grew up with and invited to my 8th birthday party at a local pizza place... tag teaming with borrowed quarters to beat the shinobi arcade game (with a polaroid to prove it!).

funny how things then seemed so important but in ways trivial now. i think somewhere along the way, i started talking to a cheerleader who i ended up kissing and taking her to prom. not bad for a kid who played magic cards and rollerbladed eh? but that ended as summer came along. lazy days of senior summer filled nights with bowling, dinners, late nights, movies... such innocence before they all shipped off to their 4 year universities. by summer became close to another friend and we enjoyed the rest of the summer... loss of virginity and all that stuff. she eventually went off to college and cheated on me which was expected. i remained home in community college while all my friends got into their nice schools.

i don't know what the point of this is. i guess talking to my friend it make me think of these things. i never knew how chris and niki broke up. they both ended up going to the same university that very fall... which i transferred to two years later.

as i found out today. that summer, i knew niki went to australia for a month long family vacation. what i didn't know was that she mailed a postcard to chris to break up with him. somehow knowing that made me hurt a bit for him in that one marked moment... and for me... and for that summer of 1998.

sorry. not proofread.