Saaract, the most powerful martial art in the known universe. [taken from myspace blog]

Below is a recently written essay on the infallible martial art method that I have recently come across in my studies and research...

Over the years there have been much debate in the martial arts community over whether particular fighting arts are superior. People belonging to particular schools will often boost of their chosen method's supremacy over others. However, after my many years of research and training in the various methods of fighting, I believe I have stumbled across the truly ultimate method of combat - the art of Size Altering Alien Radiation-Activated Cybernetic Technology (or Saaract).

Depending on the method of achieving mastery in Saaract, this art can enable the practitioner to grow to heights of 50 meters and the weight of 55,000 tons. A few of the techniques offered through this method's curriculum include (depending on the branch of Saaract) - the creation of offensively devastating energy projectiles at the wave of a hand, special flying leg attacks (that are done in a rapid succession to literally destroy an opponent), and the ability to fly effortlessly. The only downside of Saaract that one can immediately fathom is the esoteric requirement of shouting out the name of your special attacks before deploying them. However, this is a slight distraction, as the raw power given by the Saaract method will often negate an opponents response to the required verbal warning.

There are several methods of achieving competency in this art. First, a person could conceivably gain the abilities offered through the Saaract curriculum innately if he/she was born on the planet of Ultra, in Nebula M78 (as the radiation from the artificial sun positively mutates Ultra's inhabitants). However, as the Land of Light (as Ultra is sometimes referred) is approximately 3,000,000 light years from Earth, the second option is often more feasible.

The second option requires the practitioner to be captured by an evil international terrorist group of some sort (usually bent on world domination) and be subjected to an experiment that alters his/her physical body with the tools of advanced cybernetics. To completely gain competency using this option, one must escape the laboratory/complex where the cybernetic experiment is taking place before the evil organization has the opportunity to erase the practitioners mind. Due to the fact that most evil international terrorist organizations will not erase a practitioners mind until the total surgical alterations are complete (thus giving the practitioner the power and the means to escape before brainwashing can commence) this option will often succeed in giving the practitioner mastery in Saaract.

Other methods in achieving competency in Saaract exist (such as having the practitioner himself/herself be fashioned into a living cyborg by a space entity for use in protecting this sector's planets from negative alien intervention), but the two methods mentioned previously in this essay are the most common.

True masters of this intriguingly powerful combat method include many famous and legendary figures. Of these masters, the most notable include - members of the "Ultra Family," a fellow who goes by the title of "Spectreman," and a group of motorcycle enthusiasts who dub themselves the "Kamen Riders."

It is this writers humble opinion that a practitioner of Saaract cannot be defeated. Much of the recently written rhetoric on style supremacy seems to focus upon developing techniques to fight against other particular martial arts methods; I feel this need not be. With diligent study and comprehension of Saaract, one can choose to destroy an opponent through the simple act of indiscriminately propelling vicious energy attacks or merely grow 50 meters in height (and 55, 000 tons) and stepping on your adversary(s). Anyway you look at it, Saaract is the most superior fighting method that I have ever came across.

(c) 2002 philip ng. all rights reserved