lately...

amazing, totally amazing, if it isnt god, there is no explanation to this. i mean, i am doing a lot of stuff lately which i havent done before or for ages. like cooking for an example, i never care about food, whatever came to my face, i would just eat them and my main point was - not to feel hungry. however, lately, all i can think of is food, what shall i have for breakfast, lunch, dinner. then, i will try to make it my own (trust me, i havent step into my kitchen for cooking except boiling water or fed my pets). now, i will try to make soup everyday (nothing fancy, only onion soup, carrot soup and watercrest soup and these three soups keep going circle, any other recommendations, but have to be easy!). then, prepare my family some meals (again, nothing fancy, maybe some take-out and re-heat, or re-heat frozen food, seafood congee or boil some dumplings, vegatables, or the most, making some steak, but i am going to try make some coca cola chicken wings tonight). and now, my whole family is having fun with our new toy - breadmaker. however, no bread is eatable so far but we will keep trying.

another new thing to me is playing the video game - wil, i never never play much video game, the most that i played is the computer game like solitaire, puzzle....(i only played those when i was waiting at work for shooting before....). but now, i am playing the "wil" almost every other day. first the sport, then shooting, or dancing. i am quite good in all sports game now but not the dancing one. i mean, either my brain is too slow or my little head cannot co-ordinate with my body. but i swear, one day, i am going to beat this game.

then drive around with my auntie's car to see around, trust me, i have been driving for ages and i never enjoy cruising around plus i never want to waste gasoline. but now, taking the car and driving to no-where seem to be fun.

during the day, i might run some errands and do some business, go on-line, reading newspaper, then chat with my pets a little bit, chase them around, playing hide-peek (pretty silly but i like to scare the hell of them). then, trying to clean the house if i still have the energy or maybe taking the pets' bath. there are no more challenge than taking your pet's bath, it's like going to a battle. first, you have to make sure you wear long-sleeves shirt and pants, have your hair tied up, fool them to the bathroom with food or toy, lock the door and here we go, a lot of strugglings inside the bathroom. somehow, sometimes, it will comes to pretty much violent. and after all the struggles, you still need to clean the bathroom (can you imagine if you have kid? at least, for pets, i only have to do it once in a while but with kids, every single day till they are 6-7 years old.....gosh). honestly, i am more attach to animals than to human beings. i mean, i still miss my friends and family but i wouldnt worry about them. for my pets, if i ever go on a trip, even as short as just two days, i will be so worried. put it this way, i can tell my friends and family where i am heading to or when am i coming back, but for animals, i cant, right. so i am worried about them worrying about me where am i and when am i coming home! again, silly me. i wonder someday, i should get a job in an animal shelter, pet store or animal hospital. but those places might sadden me, so how about a grooming place for pets, that sounds like fun and a lot of challenges.

then, trying to remember all my feelings towards the days and weeks, and when i have the moment, put it down and share with you all. just like tonight, i was thinking about how the internet has changed our lives. when i first left hong kong and went to hawaii, long-distance calls are extremely expensive and i was a poor student, writing letter took ages to arrive back and forth. but backthen, we used to write a lot to friends and it did seem to be an obligation to do so. whenever you see a letter for you sitting in the mailbox, you are thrilled and held this real tight and read that over and over again during the week. and you would have a nice box collecting them all, read them all again once in a while. those were fun. then, the long-distance calls keep dropping price and we started to make money, so it seemed quite affordable. and after that, internet/e-mail came, everyone is communicating thru this. that was the coolest time, coz we became so lazy and would just drop a few lines to each other to make sure we are still updated to each other or proved that we are still keep in touch, those days, were no fun and no personal touch. now, it is becoming better, coz everyone seems like writing on her/his own blog or willing to share his/her thoughts onto others's blog. a great place for shareing.

another subject that i want to talk about is - "dont do anything you will regret later on in life", i am sure somehow i have touched this subject before, but tonight, i have somehow a different/added idea. i mean, at certain stage of life, we all have certain regrets, no matter what/or how best we behaved, there are always regrets. then, "dont do anything you will regret later on in life" doesnt make sense anymore, coz no matter what we do, we still have somehow, somewhat regrets, right. so, my point is, again, "balance". you balance the regrets - which one is bigger, which one is smaller. then, think about your actions, can you live with that for the rest of your life. for example, i was a crazy shopperholic for quite a long time. i would buy anything that i like (well, i bet i was making quite a fortune from the entertainment industry). i would spend up to 30-40 thousand dollars every month on buying, sometimes, i did not even open any bag after i buy things, that was terrible. i mean spending 6-7 thousands on shoes or bags, another 6-7 thousands on clothing, accessories....etc that was just terrible. i remember i once bought a massage chair (i thought i would use it) and a piano ( i thought i would practise on it), finally, both items became decoration purpose. at last, i gave them both away. after spent so much money and when i looked back then, gosh, if i havent spent those money, i would be damn rich or even better if i have those money invest in a good way. but then, i can still live with it coz i just need to remind myself, dont spend anymore money on worthless things and work harder to recover what you have spent. that's it! i do regret but the regret can only lead me into those conclusions.

but if i have a friend who will be going away for long (either moving back to her country or whatsoever), if i did not spend much time before her going, i defintely will be regreted. just like when my girlfriend, Julie, who moved back to France and before she left, i was very busy with my work and hardly see her before her leaving. now, i regret so much coz we live so apart from each other and i think she was mad at me for not showing up at her wedding or any other special events. anyway, we are now no longer keep in touch. i feel so regret about what i had done/or missed. i could have done better. this regret leads me to nowhere but only try my best to be with friends next time, i can still live with it but the scare is still here. so the above two examples are what you going to do with regrets that you can live with it or things that you do that you cant live with it (i am not explaining very well here.... but i am sure "smart ones" like you will get my idea!!!!)

after such heavy topic, i am going to share you with some fun things, as you all know, i am an animal lover, so does my auntie and her son. but not my father. however, the ones around him loves animals, therefore, he needs to live with it. which means, he is now living with two cats, dog, birds, shrimp, shark, lizard (yes, we have two lizards at home), pig (the pig is me, my pig died last year, so i am replacing her)....etc. whenever he has his allergy or cold, he would claim, "look i am having a bird flu because of you guys, i am having my allergy because of you guys, i almost fainted away because of your lovely cat "milk milk" pee on my pillow....". that was fun.

i have much more for sharing tonight, however, i need to wake up real early tomorrow morning, so i better stop now.

talk to you guys again soon.

love, patricia

ps to nicelely, i got your message sometime ago and i am sorry that i did not replying to you immediately ( i kept forgetting it, sorry....). anyway, i really want to help, however, i gave away most of my clothings to friends or charity before i move this year and now i really dont have much left. maybe you can try vinci, you can contact my assistant and see what can she do to help you get in touch with vinci, he knows more celebrities than i do.