Bleeding Big Steps

Two of my most prized possessions from my childhood are these two old pairs of ballet point shoes:

(In case you’re wondering…it is a photograph I have taken. Currently experimenting with different post effects.)

My parents probably didn’t even know what ballet really was back then. One day, I just kinda went home and declared to my mother that I wanted to dance. I had this immense need to move to music, to take charge in shaping my own body, and also to just forget myself in beauty which you don’t only see, but can also feel. I was so adamant that I take lessons, that my parents gave in and registered me in one of the dance studios. I would take the bus every week to make it to my destination.

In class, I was somewhat of an awkward child. I didn’t really make any close friends, but it really didn’t matter. For years, I just kept dancing and practicing until my feet would bleed into my shoes (not uncommon for dancers actually). Ballet gave me my first taste of what it meant to be passionate and determined about the arts. I danced for a good eight years before I moved to the US as a teen.

Though I’ve dabbed into jazz dance, hip hop, and tap dance during my college years and immensely enjoyed myself, I have professionally steered away from performance arts and instead have turned toward the visual arts and filmmaking, making it my full time endeavor and chosen path. (Currently writing a big biopic screenplay on one of my all time favorite American choreographers, so hopefully I’ll get to combine all of that some day!)

I’ve always known that I had a great love for motion pictures and storytelling, but it wasn’t until last month, when I received my very first award (the George C. Lin Emerging Filmmaker Award) at the San Diego Asian Film Festival, that I fully realized that others actually recognized that love in me. Having a bunch of strangers telling you “You’re doing a good job” has a different impact on you, than when your friends tell you. Not more important, just different. I am very happy, proud and humbled, but it was a very bittersweet moment, because just like my old dance shoes, I have “bled” a lot to make it to this point. My career has caused so many personal and professional setbacks in the past few years, that I can’t help but chuckle at the irony of life. The universe has a strange way to try and balance itself, doesn’t it? Yet, no matter how difficult or rewarding things can get, the thought of stopping never crosses my mind. Why would I? It makes me wiser! So the lovely award, designed by artist Chin Wen Chuang, is now my newest most prized possession, symbolizing all my victories and defeats of 2010. I believe my little doggie Alex is claiming the bragging rights to it though.

So, I need one bragging picture of myself! Here I am with my good friend Karin Anna Cheung of “The People I’ve Slept With”.

I thank everyone who has helped shape me into the person I am today from the whole of my heart.

Ok, enough bragging cheesiness! Enjoy some dollie spam!

Jade and Luca (Soom Beryl LmoD and Soom Sard/Dollshe Saint hybrid)

Jade’s Faith

Keanu (Latidoll Rucas), Charm (Asleep Eidolon Cherry), and Bri (Asleep Eidolon Lemon)

And last, but not least another selfie. I felt like like showing my teeth that day!

Good bye!