I have noticed that I have felt dissatisfied at different times today. Whenever I'm aware of that slightly frustrated feeling of things not being right, I stop and check in to see what's really going on with me. Then I notice this common refrain: "I want". But the things I want today are not easy to attain. They take time and money that I just don't have right now. In terms of money, I may never have the money required to fulfill many of my wants, such as travel, buying books, collecting art. I have spent a lifetime learning how to live a satisfying life with less. But sometimes, the things we want are not discounted 60 or 80%. It takes real money, and lots of it, to do some things. That is the source of my frustration today. It isn't realistic to think that I will be increasing my income dramatically in the coming years. But I don't like saying to myself that I'll never travel to these places or be able to buy this piece of art, because I don't have the money. On days like today, it sucks to be able to live a comfortable life--but only if I watch my money very carefully. How I wish money wasn't an object and I could do all the things I have always dreamed of doing. But then what would my dreams be?
In Memoriam Leslie Cheung 1956-2003 Our Leslie, beautiful like a flower. I love you today and always-- a part of my heart beats for you alone, tonight a