U is hot,I is liking

I find it funny as hell when people say so many things which U know are typical and cheesy. Now guys,when u want to start an interesting or witty conversation,make sure u can keep it going,and not start a car with its engine raring to life for a brief second before it dies again.

What the hell do I mean by that?

U wonder why I have been slightly more profane lately,yes? I wonder myself too,probably it's the unscrīpted text that I never show when I am with another walking,talking,breathing,human being. So appreciate my profanities, watch this, SPLAT!That's a flying spit for my inability to be crude and mean in real life!HA. If U're wondering why the hell I am amusing myself by spitting at U through narrative writing,it is because I am attempting to be funny and interesting. At least it got u to this point,here. And then,HERE.

What happens when u go on a date,erm,say your second or third date with this dude u just met and u wonder if he is going to be the amazing one u wll potentially see more the rest of 2008. gasp How scary is that,when this is the start of a new year,imagine being stuck with an empty snooze inducing goofball and not even know it?

U know why I sound so bloody obnoxious sometimes when I rant and muse about things like this?Because I am honest.Everybody fends for themselves and considers all these positive and negative traits in people. It is a natural state called Judgement. How does an intelligent,disarmingly charming stud like U get an amazing,awesome,smart,beautiful babe for a girlfriend? I think for starters when she quizzes u on answers on why U like her (oh yes,typical questions girls wonder 99 percent of the time when guys wonder about sex),u should use your brains and not say "I don't know" or "Because u are so pretty" or "Because U are so talented" or "Because who would not?" Actually that last one was not so bad because at least it doesn't point to a merit the girl posseses. These lines are overrated,cheesy,and not very smart.

If U say,hey,that's not fair,because u were being honest,then SORRY. Learn to be honest and sound bloody impressive ape! If the truth of the matter belies in your wanton lust for her beauty,well for the life of me,add some jest into the statement. Once this guy I met at college told me something which made me recall his words again afterwards when I was home. Before I even pondered over why he asked me out,he said "Do u know why I asked U out Lydia?" I stopped with bated breath to listen to a predictably stupid answer and he said this. " Because u strike me as someone who's probably a vase,an airhead,or a ditz,at best,a butterfly that darts from place to place."

U know what I did?I did the most unladylike thing by roaring outloud with this guffaw-ed laughter that lasted for 2 minutues. While he watched. I was still choking.I didn't say anything because he interjected "but then I wondered why I wondered about u,I admit it must be some sort of attraction and then I decided to buy a ticket dragging my soccer pal along to watch your play in school." U know,I was rather surprised by this candid display of honesty but impressed too that I was getting insulted all over but still keen to hear more. I felt like one of those clowns with a red ball on my nose and a sign on my head that said "Slam Me mofo Slam Me!" He then continued his little confession. "I didn't like your play.It was ridiculously dumb.The character U played was just meant to decorate the cast (What the hell mama) and after I sneakily stalked your performances and even found out where u liked hanging out later,I realised U are quite a conflicted character."

"U're a feminist,a theatre lover,a pianist but u also love playing counterstrike and rough it out with the guys. U're not materialistic but U like tribal and ethnic skirts. And U are one angry woman when it comes to discrimination towards the minorities." The more he chattered,the wider my eyes grew. Who was this guy?Some CIA agent from hell? What was happening to me, why was my life suddenly summarised into a few sentences and now I'm living in the Truman Show where my life was a reality tv series for his viewing? BUT. He seemed to be evaluating alot and making alot of observations and I was interested and keen to know what he eventually thought of me.

" Duplex.Erm,Multi-plex.U'rea person with many dimensions. I heard from a mutual friend that U can eat really spicy food,U love so much chillies and wasabi,that U end up looking red faced but very smug and satisfied whenever U're on your crazy lunch adventures. But then U also can be really extreme.Is it true that U disappeared on your ex bf and became uncontactable for many days afterwards because U took a trip out by yourself? Why did u do that?

"I am intrigued! I am slightly fascinated and a bit intimidated and scared of u BUt U're really different."

That was it. DIFFERENT.When u tell a girl she is different,she likes that. Tell her she is the same like everyone,trust me,u will find alot of things hurling at u for a reason. I did not date that guy because I told him I was just single after a 3 year relationship so I thought of dating myself and hanging out with everybody if it was ok,but I told him,he scored points for being honest definitely and very very candid. The last I heard,he was dating this other lovely girl I knew and he had grown slightly chubbier due to the years that had passed. He still sends me messages laughing at my random actions or things he remembered me doing that amused me before.

If U have to be cheesy,be interesting. If U have to be honest,keep the attention. The point is to prolong the conversations with more conversations. Everybody is attractive and talented. EVERYONE. U see an investment banker,he is talented in doing what he does. It's the same with a painter,an accountant or a teacher. Attractiveness is also another universal quality. This guy was totally a good looker,but then I'm quite scared of handsome boys. Because they are so distracting they kill my braincells and cause me to be stupid-er and invent new words like that.

Well,I am quite happy to say that I felt rather complimented that he thought I was some vase or a ditz. It's remarkable for people to tell u that,because it is some people's lifelong ambition to be the biggest ditz or vase that has ever existed and to be to even be nominated makes me proud as a peacock.hen.peahen.