The Humdrum

The weather is slightly cooler today,and I have woken from 2mths of depression. It's ironic how pple assume that U're depressed either because A. U've had a broken relationship B. your career is going nowhere C. U're mulling over something really really mysterious and they just cannot guess what.

WELL. Depression is not exactly an event or a mood gone bad. That would mean I'm on a normal day going through what a normal person feels,which may be up or down. I've had manic depression for a few yrs and sometimes I just feel melancholic because it was a prolonged process of accumulated events and matters stored up in my head. All i need was just a tiny trigger and my eyes become vacant and all the life is sucked out of me.I'd be in front of my piano,in the dark softly playing led by the stirrings in my heart,or in front of the computer screen writing anything,even this. I get irate,extremely annoyed when pple think or second guess reasons behind yr unhappiness. We are all different,our thumb prints already prove this,so why marginalize others with the myopic theories? Our past and childhoods are entirely different as well, gosh,I could be jolly well reminiscing or thinking abt my dead hamster when I was 6 and I still have a perfect reason to mull over death. I just don't like how pple go,with their silly notions that just because something with their life,love and career is not going right,they assume it is the same with u. Or,they try to read into your thoughts by looking at yr blog,or yr photos to see what exactly the matter is with u. Want to know how I knew?3 people already asked me the same question today and it has nothing to do with that,and I feel like throwing a fork at them.I say fork because right in front of me lies a half broken plastic fork I accidentally stepped on while rushing to the phone to answer those mundane questions.

Do not tell a depressive person U understand unless U have died and gone to heaven and U're now God. Because even if U've been raped or killed somebody in yr lifetime,it does not make a depressed person more consoled to know there are now 2 of u. And it's worse when u obviously do not understand and act like u do. The depressive person feels active in her mind to not throw u just a tiny plastic fork but perhaps a truck full of pitchforks from post Halloween.

So.i was saying,i have woken up and out of this dreadful lull.I am alive again and I have a new game plan.Watch me soar.