Ow ow ow

Early on this year I got into a car accident and it resulted in my right leg being really injured and I had to go on crutches for a while. In fact I was so reliant on Mdm left good leg that I did the unfathomable silly of sillies by tripping and spraining my ankle on the good left leg. That day all the heavens must have opened and the earth must have had stirred till it was motionless because I had roared so greatly in such dramatic angst I'd have put the entire cast of Days of Our Lives in shame. I was the legendary soap opera.

I would like to add that it might really have helped if I had fallen at the feet of some really chivalrous league of extraordinary gentlemen,instead of that cold slab of pavement with my insignia imprinted. Honestly I don't know which was worse,when they had found me in my fetal position scrounged up in such intense pain or the fact that I had amazed us all by using my singing breaths to PUUUUSH a mighty scream? That day everyone discussed that shrill piercing mother of all thunderous screams.

" Did U hear that loud scream?I hope no one got hurt"

"Wasn't it a loud bang? Are aliens invading Taiwan?"

"It was the DPP, sequel to gunshot 1!"

"Nicole Richie was giving birth"

So,when I did meet the stern doctor at the emergency room again he asked me what I had been doing to have hurt both legs. I explained to him that I really wasn't doing anything....much.I was just thinking of getting a little bottle of vanilla essence for my cupcakes that I was baking and it was somehow quite high up the shelves (because I was trying to act smart previously by saving space.Height baby,height!) and so I thought a little ladder might not kill. And then before U now judge me in horror of that spectacle let me disappoint a little to say that I never got on to that ladder. I tripped on my own furry accursed slipper before I could get up on the darn stool, to fetch the ladder, which would eventually help me create the most creatively heart blasting,tear jerking cupcakes that day. The only thing that got baked that day was me because I remembered how the sun had scowled mightily on me when I was carried inside to the hospital on a stretcher.

Rule No. 1: Never call a half comatose half invalid,who was wounded and in pain. U'd only become a brutal casualty. Some wisecrack called to ask me out that evening. U can imagine that it was his first and last time. I think I must have told him in an audible whisper that I had a penchant for eating human beings. Dude,I was still curled like a fetus when the cellphone in my backpocket started ringing insanely then. Otherwise,I'm the most polite walrus I know.

Here it comes. I bet Imma get an earful after I tell it to y'all like it is. U see,I'm not so much a normal breathing thinking human being so I tend to do things excessively. When I was injured and I mean both leggies were bound (like a Manchu princess, how royal) all I could think of was what a fat slob I would become if I just sat at home waiting for the flowers to bloom. So yes,I ended up going back to my fitness earlier than I maybe should have. And u see,I'm a walrus. So,I didn't have the patience to just count marbles and do the lighter machines. Before long,I was working out like nuts, 10km per day running and resistance,weight training and all,daily,sometimes twice a day. I was adamant to make up for lost time. Overtime however the doctor explained that I had not become aware I was weakening my legs so badly,wearing and tearing everything apart until I'm so fragile that the slightest mishap would basically hurl me into another wayward condition.

I developed an allergy recently,either from something I ate or breathed. Maybe it was u,Retard #3. (Don't catch the flow?Refer to 2 blogs earlier) So the allergy became rather serious because I have been rather busy lately with work and finally when I realized my foot was becoming part of my arm I got concerned. I went to see the doc and well he suggested that basically it was simple. I had an allergy which was too primitive to even consider now,because it had transformed into an inflammation and viral infection that was infecting me internally,hence the swelling and redness had taken its toll. When I say swelling boys and girls,I really don't mean a slight bruise. I mean Jupiter,the planet. My foot is basically talking to me now.It blushes beetroot and says hi as I'm writing. The doc says also that if I try to act smart and not take him seriously,the condition will get more turbulent and he will come after me like the guy in saw and it'd be the end of Jupiter. Imagine what this does to me,a meek lil thing (c'mon,give it to me,im sick today)! I was so affected that I almost wanted to eat lunch, oops,I mean I was so frightened that I wanted to listen and obey every damn word he said. Until he said go on drip. I called mum and she insisted in her mummy ways that miraculously by seeing her I could sprint again and she tried cheating me like I was a kid again that I should listen to her and get an icecream for it. The problem ,the problem is,I have something I'm working on right now. We had a 6 hr meeting the other day and I was in so much pain and so drowsy from the medication the other day i became The Incredible Sulk.

So now,either I go back to the motherland to find my momma for some love and carin and er get on the drip or I stay put in here and er get on the drip. I gave a second alternative. I don't like drips! I wanted to stay home but do regular checks every few days. This was ok too but after much hesitation because the doc says my immune system is very very very bad, he said I needed to watch myself and not do another spread eagle. And also Im now going into the fever zone which means erm the bad guy germs are doing their thing.

Decided not to blog about this at first,thought it might sound sad and depressing for some folks. But but, Im still goin to church later and it's all gd. I just need to get my act togethersoon. U know, I figured I could still go hit the gym but work on the light stuff? OK I WAS KIDDING!

Big kiss,well Big foot.

Lydia