Letter from an unknown woman, movie

I just saw Letter from an unknown woman by Xu Jing Lei.

It's a very narrative rich style and the directing takes the unsuspecting audience into the story. But not in that compulsory way. You are not forced into sympathy or to judge the character nor do you feel such a whole lot of emotional turbulence. It is like water with lemon. Only the taste it faint but there. Im trying to say I like the intenalized feel of the film. It isn't a loud, robust load of tears as some other tragic stories can be, nor a vibrant host of tragic events. It is a simple story of something you and I are so capable of doing everyday and that is : forgetting.

I remember how I told my friend that she hurt my feelings when we were in school because of a misunderstanding. She had a crush on this boy for the longest time and so everyday she would tell me how XX would be this, XX would be that. It was so amusing. I thought XX was fine, he was a nice boy. A jock and all but really definitely not like the god she was making him out to be.

And then the time came when I was having a Birthday party. It wasn't exactly a big deal, just a party because some of my friends asked me what I was doing on my Birthday and another group of friends too asked me. And I thought ok, then let's just meet everyone at the same time. This is probably the most practical appraoch for a party u know.:)

So my friend asked if I could invite XX and I said sure. XX and I said hi to each other whenever we bumped into each other at school. I did not know him well at all but he was always smiley and sometimes we would chat a little and asked if the other was having problems coping with studies. I was in the drama club and we did alot of dance, theatre performances, plus debate sessions so my time was also constantly in jeopardy with tutorials! And exams of course. XX was the jock like I said and the pride and joy of my school. He was a studios and decent sort of fellow too. I passed the invitation card to my friend and she excitedly told me how XX had beamed at her and spoke to her briefly. So she got all excited about my Birthday party because XX said he was going.

This story is a little long because it was a misunderstanding that ran so deep. It was also "forgotten" later by my friend but, then I don't think I have that lucky mechanism in my brain. I tend to do best at history class because of this memory factor. :)

And then I bumped into XX and I mentioned casually if he got the card from my friend (let's call her Jill) Jill. And he had a memory lapse and did not know who Jill was. Later I said "the one who passed you the card duh!" he apologetically went " Oh that's right!" I never told Jill this, to this day.

And then Valentine's Day came. Now I'm sure most of you know how commercialized and silly Valentine's day is. And that it was fun only because teenagers wanted to celebrate everything and looked for something, anything to! In my school, Valentine's Day became a day when people gave flowers, chocolates and bears, presents to their friends and sometimes crushes. There was even a song dedication booth and you can go dedicate your cheesy " I swear" songs to your favourite girl or boy. That day when Jill and I walked to the cafeteria for a snack in between classes, XX was there. He was friendly of course and waved to me. I waved back and he came towards me and gave me a big hug. "Happy Valentine's" he said and I said " Same to you" brightly. I really do not think he intentionally meant to ignore Jill but he really accidentally forgot that she was there. He asked me enthusiastically about my performances and if we were rehearsing later into the evenings like the jocks did. I glanced at Jill and mentioned that Jill was also a fan of the game and that we both thought he was a talented player. He smiled and modestly declined the compliment.

Because of this, Jill cried that day when we went back to class. She shook her head and said she did not want to talk and I just sat there feeling so bad because she worshipped him and really thought the world of XX. And then on the way back home, Jill decided she did not want to go back with me like we always did. She was huddled in a corner with other friends and I just left it as that. But I called her later and apologized to her. I just felt somehow that maybe I could have helped her more by praising her or something. I don't know. I was clueless, truthfull I still am.

Jill said this, " I wish I had as many presents from everyone like you did to on Valentine's Day." I went and got her a flower and a balloon and she smiled but said sadly that it was not the same.

And then a second misunderstanding caused the volcano eruption.

It was the day we got our Chinese A level exams back and Jill and I were scared stiff to know. We were even trembling at the thought of failing the paper. Just before we were assembled by our teachers, XX hopped by. He saw me and I waved. He came over to my class and flashed his trademark magnetic smile. Jill was almost weak in the knee but she was so excited that he was coming our way. Then he came and gave me a good luck hug. Actually hugs are really the most common forms of expressions so there really is/ was no big deal about it. XX said " Good luck you'd be great" and I muttered " No...... I'm scared to death" and suddenly he took my hands and went " Woah your hands are so cold!"  and he clasped my hands warmly with his big gruff hands for a second before patting them on his cheeks.

That was it. But it was also the last straw for Jill. She shot me this venomous look before sprinting off in the other direction. The toilet. I ran after her leaving XX behind and no matter what I said she refused to speak to me. Jill did very well for the paper. I did ok, not as good as she did but it was alright for me. But she cried ferociously like she failed. That day a mutual friend told me Jill was not going to speak to me for a while because she "did not know what to say".

Jill said " Lydia, guys like you only because of your personality. Do you really think you are that pretty?"

Later Jill and I just drifted further apart. She said it was difiicult being my friend because I wanted to be everybody's friend. Some people she felt were not nice people,  and she felt it was not loyal of me to still be nice to them. Later she told me, she found it harder and harder to talk to me because I was always caught up in my own world and. What possibly caused me the most grief was a letter she wrote me. Jill used to write cute postcards to me and I responded by drawing comic faces and writing her inspiring notes everyday. That letter that hurt me is still in my drawer to this day. She said how she could not be friends anymore because she was not happy. Somehow she felt confused, because it was not exactly something I did, or if I was one helluva of a bitchy mofo, or if I was some slutty ass harlot that tried to seduce dudes. She just said it was not the kind of friendship she could take. I wanted to ask more but she said she told me many times before she hated the "social butterfly" antics I had. She said it felt weird and she just wanted a friend who can be so close they could go to the toilet in twos like elementary school.

For the longest time I believed I must be one screw loose or something wrong since I was making her so sad.

Jill is a very attractive girl. She is silm, has pretty hair and a beautiful figure. And we weren't competiting with each other for anything at all. I guess it was just unfortunate then. Also later on she finally believed me that XX and I were such platonic friends and I was not lying when I told her I did not contact him beyond what she saw.

How amazing, for some people, for example like the guy in this movie to forget other people so easily. And then there are the rest who wish they didn't have such an annoying memory to remember. I think if you ask me, I belong to the group of people who need to erase memories, like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's not even about letting go, it's just one more thing to make you afraid of people.

PS: Yes I know, I should focus on the goooood.