About a mosquito

I had set out originally to write a poem for my gd friend,the beautiful and smart Jackie,but then something else caught my attention so I decided to write instead. What,that something happens to be is this vile mosquito that has been terrorizing me for the past few months. I know u're shaking your head at me laughing at my ignorance. The mosquito must have died within like days or at most many many days even if it was a soldier. BUT this mosquito is different. I suspect he kindda came back from the dead like those damn zombies in From Dusk Till Dawn or Blade and just kept coming to harass me. Either that or he had a million cousins,descendants and soul-brothers who just kept cloning themselves like him and coming to buzz at me. Why was I so sure it's the same bloody mosquito?Because this idiot seems to play dead every time i almost catch it and then he will fly off. I feel like Im playing catch. Right now,it's no fair cos Im hobbling. And he is playing it dirty by flying off like that. Every night he comes to swirl around my ear and does his stupid buzzing. STOP.I know u're going to say those were his friends and that I have a probable mosquito nest,no MINE going on here. TOUCH WOOD U! Stop scaring me.

Now U know a defenseless girl like me would love to sleep in pretty night wear and wake up feeling dazzling BUT this mosquito does not allow it nor does the nasty weather. Hence I then wrap my head like a turban now and use my sheets and shroud myself like a dead person every night when I go to bed. Every morning I wake up stunning myself with a loud piercing shriek because I always see my reflection in the mirror and I would go ARRGGH! until it is ritualistic now.

WHAT?U find me crazy?Now now cut the pretense u. I know u, the serial farter who quietly farts and leaves a massacre behind every time u go to a particular place. U are the scariest of the scariest. Especially when U look so dashing or charming and beautiful. Can u imagine someone like the gorgeous Angelina Jolie farting all day or Johnny Depp?But they are humans,and they do that. OH dear,this is too visual. Let me take a minute of silence to commemorate this very tragic imagery. Now,I don't know about U,but the image of Johnny Depp waving a mosquito bat is very sexy indeed,with or without that Sweeney Todd's morose expression.

I am now a seasoned hobbler and shall be confined until my leg decides to come home. So,in the meantime while Im eating junk food getting fat,I shall lose weight with the rest of u interested parties afterwards. Now leave me and my chips alone.