More human than human

it's almost 6AM and i can not sleep.

I think it's pretty ironical since my body is very tired from 1 month with 5h or 6h of sleep per night.

And no it's not because i danced too much !

I got a new job, a really exciting, fulfilling and ...tiring job. I must be kinda masochist or something to accept to do the job of 7 different positions AND beside that to accept to have freelance job.

Yes i didn't type wrong, i said 7 positions:

Artistic director

Graphic designer

Marketing manager

Project manager

Corporate coach

Business development manager 

Interior designer

and my side jobs are various like webmaster, webdesigner or assistant photographer....

They like calling me "Superwoman" and somehow because they trust me and because they probably need to believe I can solve all their problems, i must make them keep on thinking this way. As long as i am positive, they will be ok, so i must be strong.

My feelings are really confused about this and most of people don't understand why i'm so involved in this job when the price to pay is a perpetual processing brain. I don't have the answer ...but my heart is telling me i am doing the right thing. Nothing is impossible, just do it.

You must think i'm crazy...

What about my humanity in all this shit ?

Did I turn into a machine without noticing it ? i think maybe yes...because my schedule don't allow me any time to have selfish emotions. My empathy is used only for the sake of my work. it's like having a limited access to my heart. hahaha i can't help talking about myself as a machine lately, it's funny and terribly pathetic. Whatever

To end with a lighter note than my self introspection, i bought 3 weeks ago a netbook, the Acer Aspire One.

It sounded really childish to buy a 2nd laptop but it didn't took me long to confirm i really needed it, specially when I found softwares to turn Minigunbuster (yeah it's his name because the big laptop is Gunbuster) into a ebook reader. There are bunch of book's i'd like to read but the storage is a serious problem to me. I wanted to buy a Sony Ebook reader but it was too expensive for just a ebook reader. Minigunbuster satisfy all my needs about reading, watching, surfing, working for less than 1kg and suitable in my girly hand bag. Who said perfection ? haha

Here comes my few cultural lines.

First, I finally got the chance to start the Twilight Saga from Stephenie Meyer. I wanted to read it more than 2 years ago and the announcement of the 1st movie adaptation hurged me to read it before the end of this year. Vampires are from far my favorite damned creatures since "Interview with a vampire". This eternal struggle to keep his own humanity despite the need of killing is fascinating and terribly sad.

What kind of vampire would you like to be ?

I would probably hate my human empathy. Centuries of internal struggling to reject to become an animal and the agony of the solitude would drive me crazy.