re-charging my batteries.

Emotionally unstable person on the loose.

Sometimes I scare myself - for no rhyme or reason - I can sink into a pit.

Like today, when I gave up on my schedule & shut myself at home.

Felt totally weak & without any energy left in me to continue.

Zombified. 

Lay on the bed & just started crying out loud. Wailing, almost.

Like when I mourned for my grandpa.

Then just as suddenly as I began, I stopped.

I really do scare myself at times. Sigh.

Anyway, I did a DISC test online today.

Here are my results:

DOMINANCE = 12 (Low) People who score in the low range:

~ tend to want peace and harmony.

~ prefer to let others initiate action and solve problems.

~ are quiet and indirect in their approach to most situations.

~ are usually cautious and calculate risks carefully before acting.

They are generally well liked because of their mild and gentle nature.  Other people will tend to see them as being patient, calm, thoughtful and a good listener.

INFLUENCE = 28 (Low) People who score in the low range:

~ are usually socially passive.

~ quite frequently have an affinity for things, machinery and equipment.

~ are generally comfortable working alone.

~ frequently have a tendency to be analytical and once they have sorted the facts out they communicate them in a straightforward direct way.

~ tend to take little at face value. 

They may well have learned and developed good social skills but they only bring these into play when logic dictates such tactics.

STEADINESS = 32 (Average) People who score in the average range are likely to possess and display a mixture of the traits and behaviours  associated with both high range and   low range scores.   A well balanced mix of the best of both ranges.

I guess I’m in the lower range then…

People who score in the low range:

~ tend to enjoy change and variety in their work and non-work life.

~ are expansive by nature and tend not to like routine and repetitive work/activities.  

They enjoy stretching themselves intellectually and physically.

COMPLIANCE = 28 (Low) People who score in the low range:

~ are independent and uninhibited.

~ resent rules and restrictions.  

~ prefer to be measured by results and are always willing to try the untried.  

Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it.

They feel that repetitive detail and routine work is best ‘delegated’.

That’s my life. No routine / predictable / repetitive long-term activities for me.

A bit apprehensive about my shoot tomorrow. It’s been so long since my last TV shoot. Got 3 calls through AADB today - one student short film, two cos. casting for adverts. Thank God! Praying hard I’ll get more jobs. Thankful that I’ve got more audition opportunities, though I seem to have fluffed them all.

I don’t think any actor will ever get used to the nerve-racking feelings of auditioning. Being relatively new to the business, I’m thankful I’ve got the many opportunities. Just praying for favour & more open doors. And more “yes” replies after the auditions! 6 auditions in 2 weeks, and only 1 role in return. Sigh.

Must improve on my show (business) skills. Because after all, it is a business .