Dream-killer or Dream-builder?

Today, my parents said they wanted to have a dinner with me in the next 2 weeks. They want to discuss my future plans with me. Everytime my parents say that, I feel unbelievably frustrated and irritated.

When I was in JC & Uni, it was okay. At that time, I was following the set path… On the way to having a good degree & good career. I was like the model Singaporean child, having successfully navigated the Singapore education system.

Since I graduated from NUS without honours, it’s been downhill between my parents & me. Since I decided to pursue my acting dream, it’s been an absolute nightmare. Sometimes I wonder, is it just me? Am I being rebellious in deciding not to follow society’s norms and “rebelling” against my parents’ wishes?

I don’t dare to tell my parents my dreams, or my plans. Because they would just shoot it down. They’ve asked me before how long I would do this, as if it’s just a temporary craze that I will get over. It’s like an illness or addiction that they don’t like, and I doubt they will ever understand.

I don’t want to be around dream-killers. Unfortunately, I fear them. I clam up. I want to shout & scream at them.  Arrrrgggh!

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT MY LIFE NOW

I am pursuing my dream full-time so that I’ll not have cause for regret in future.

Focus & hard work, that I have rarely done before.

Lots of personal time, with small breakthroughs & a definitivegoal to press on towards.

Breakthroughs in my ministry & time with God.

Celebration of the passion God has placed in me.

WHAT I DON’T LIKE ABOUT MY LIFE NOW

Over-reliance on my parents for shelter & finances.

Certain bad habits in my life that I long to be rid of.

Constant nigging memories that I resolved to forget, but that keep popping up in my mind

• and that I keep telling others about, cos I can’t keep it in.

An occasional feeling of doubt that I’m not doing what God wants for me.

WHAT I REALLY WANT IN MY LIFE

Success in my acting career & breakthroughs in fulfilling my dream - more roles that lead to greater opportunities & larger income.

Personal financial freedom by the age of 30.

Greater spiritual growth & a more intimate relationship with God my Father.

More anointing to raise up leaders & more influence to birth more sons in the Kingdom.

And most of all, acceptance & support from my family in pursuing my dream.

I contemplated moving out, but I want to be more financially stable first. I pray that God will help me in my personal life. I pray that I will learn to be more disciplined & that I’ll be able to get rid of my bad habits. I pray that I may be able to fulfill my destiny in Him.

I pray that my parents will accept what I have to tell them.

SEPTEMBER 15 - 21, 2008

This week marks my first official week as a freelance full-time actor. I have seen some fruits thus far. Attended 3 auditions, with favorable opinions but no callbacks as yet. Finally registered my profile on an online actors’ database. I had free time to be an extra on a feature film.

In my ministry, I also managed to talk to a few of my members & encouraged them. Happily enough, I’ve Identified a potential leader who has responded positively & wants to be more committed to ministry.

“If you want to play it safe,

then don’t think about doing great things.”- Rev. Dr. Kong Hee, June 19 2008

Since I’ve decided to pursue my dream and to be totally committed to God at the same time, I don’t wish to stop right now. I want to continue until I achieve that dream.

Everyday now, I’m not wasting my time away. Rather, I’m working hard. I’m a self-employed freelance actor. I look for opportunities, practise my acting, read books and attend auditions.

And I train my positive thinking.

LAURA’S POSITIVE THINKING I Believe In Myself.

I Believe In My Talent.

I Just Have To Improve On My Sales Skills & My Preparation Level.

Auditions Are Not A Competition With Other Actors,

But A Chance For People To See Me And What I Can Offer To Them.

Auditions Are For Me To Help The Customers - The Directors, Producers, scrīptwriters.

Auditions Are Two-Way. 

I Need To Keep Trying.

Edison Failed 9,999 Times. James Franco Failed 100 Times.

I Haven’t Even Failed 30 Times Yet!

Keep Going On, Laura!

Laura, You Have What It Takes! Just Keep Going!