Butter Face.

"She's got a butter face. Everything looks good on her, butter face." --Wisdom from Big John, Rock of Love

Just blogging to let everyone know I'm still alive. I had some down time in the last few weeks which while good for relaxation, is very bad because it's just me and my thoughts. Alone.

One such amazing thought I had was this week: "Hey! Why not get my last name tattooed on my forearm in Old English!?"

Of course, I had this idea at a bar where apparently, many amazing tattoo ideas have been birthed (ankle dolphin anyone?) and was surrounded by enough friends who suggested I actually test drive the idea by writing the tattoo out in sharpie and sport it for a few days rather than drive myself to the tattoo parlor right there and then.

I'm not sure if it's because my version looked so Katrina-survivor-social-security-number-on -the-arm-esque, but this tattoo idea doesn't seem like a winner.

My self confidence has been on quite the emotional roller coaster since I was scouted for the role of the "frumpy Chinese waitress with pimples" a few weeks back. At first I laughed, and then last night, found myself sobbing.

This town is hard on a wee little thing like me. I've always thought I was beautiful and never thought anyone could take that from me. Sure, I'm not supermodel beautiful, but I'm alright. I'm a cutie pie. Right? Well, last night, it felt like enough side comments from friends, looking at myself in the mirror too long etc. has finally cracked me open.

I know I'm a shit talking broad myself, but there's only so much much verbiage I can take, and from my own friends. Who I know mean well, but.... ouch! I hurt!

I've been in Los Angeles for five weeks. And I'm going on tour Sunday for five weeks. I don't know how actors can stand being in Los Angeles year round. It's hard! And harsh! And so isolating. How can actors stand letting their fate be held ultimately by someone else? That drives me nuts. And people here are way too good looking and need to learn to use it for good, not evil.

I'm really glad I get to leave town and meet some down home folks in San Antonio, Amherst and New York City.

I am treating myself to an early birthday present in April. I've arranged to sit for pin-up photographer, Viva Van Story. She's in New Jersey and she's super enthusiastic about photographing me. I'm spending all of April on the East Coast. That's right. Wong is doing a set of pin-up photos! I may not share them on the site. I think I'll just have them printed up and framed in my future house where I can jerk off to hot pictures of myself in the privacy of my own home.

I have a vision for myself in my upcoming 30s. I'll live in up in my little condo in Baldwin Hills, North Hollywood or Boyle Heights (the only neighborhoods I can seem to get in for less than 200K), surrounded by my loving cats, knitting baby sweaters for my friends' babies, and I'll have tons of photos of myself looking hot.

Nobody can take that from me. Do you hear me? Nobody!!! I am the hottest cat lady ever!!!!