untitled entry I

I've been derailed for a portion of my hiatus, but i am back now. It was created by focusing too much on the "do" of life vs finding a balance between the "do" and "is". Since my last entry, its been a couple months, I had the luxury to reflect, but too much of anything is never a good thing! The past couple of days, I spent some time with some new friends, really old acquaintances but have grown to become much closer than I ever imagined. There is so much excess noise in the city that I'm currently a residence. Granted, it has everything that you "want" but it is void of actual substance and it is complete MANIA. Time is either moving too fast or slow here, and having no limit or what seems to be no limit of what we can achieve is incredibly daunting. In this time, which has been mostly a negative, a specific set of characters have been hovering around that caused this negative imbalance.

The first one is completely oblivious of their actions or are aware of any conflict because they are so wrapped up in their heads. Their goals can never be achieved because they are completely unaware of their limitations, or refuse to believe that any limitation, be it, financial, mental, or physical. There is zero boundary between arrogance vs confidence.

The second believes everything involves them and take all the conflicts around as a personal vendetta. Any sort of abrasion triggers off a million sorts of anxiety. They are the type that believes they keep everything to themselves, but express all their intent through 'taking action', 'being involved' and trying to resolve everyones problem, rationalizing their actions as charity. Instead of arrogance vs confidence, its pity vs understanding

Now, these are solely observations, it is completely vulgar for me to say that is the only thing these people offer to the world. But these negative attributes listed have genuinely shaken me, and they're everywhere. Zero resolution and the amount of tension they cause by their mere presence volcanos and erupts and it is incredibly difficult to remain calm and collected when you're constantly surrounded by this. So what is the resolution? I find filtering them out is the only way, because discussing, and trying to make things black and white first, is nearly impossible. As a result, and sadly pessimistically, there is no time to be wasted on bickerers. The collection of these types have really clouded the ability to perform properly, but taking this step back and just observing is huge. As mentioned in previous posts, about 6 months ago, I was working with my energy healer who sent me the message of how "our actions, even if they are driven by care can come off as insincere because we "care" too much." In a sense, we aren't even taking into account the other person involved, but only taking care of our ego, pulling the focus away from the actual conflict/situation, and making it about themselves.

OK

enough about this, happy lunar new year!