lovely day right?

I just spent the last 2 hours or so with a truly great person. We don’t speak that much but have a mental connection. She sends me imagery through her hands and I receive the messages and "see" them through my brain. It’s a little crazy, I know I have to admit. She doesn’t really do anything exactly, but just picks up the pieces that have been displaced and realign them.

At the beginning I felt like a huge balloon, with long legs floating around, looking for things to fill up my head with. I have to say, that I would much rather have my whole body hurt than my head. Your head and your feet are the closest physical attributes we have that will connect us, and it is so important to have those things in balanced at all times. What was bizarre this time, was the amount of imagery that I saw; over analyzing is an understatement of what I’ve been doing. Little things, lack of manners, no please or thank you, not acknowledging goodnight, good morning would be the end of me. Its hard to visualize this without sound facts, I know, but when we're aligned, I can feel every message and we speak without making a noise. When she touched, I said outloud, "do you feel how much tension there is?” and she said “yes. You’re head is twitching!!!" Constant worry and fantasy, impracticality, isn't a nice feeling. People you invest time with should make you feel great about your existence, and be fully aware of that. It should just be balanced, happy and unhappy, no one over the other.

This awful image of black clouds with wagging tongues and teeth and a single horn looming plagued me. It was above my sleep, above my door, followed me everywhere. But It was washed away by waves and pure sounds, and as I felt a burst of light, and my knees started to shake. The amount of anxiety was terrible, and the anticipation as it arrived was consuming, but as it entered from the bottom of my spin through my heart to my head, my mental vision was spinning, and as it reached her hands that were connected to my head, I opened my eyes and gasped for air, and all I could see were open fields, and forests, and I could smell wild flowers, and orange triangles floating around. I saw these things with my eyes open, I saw the black dots slowly reside and leave.

She said to me, “Something numbed you and it just manifested in that dark matter and you’re imbalanced completely from that, not allowing anything to pass your head to the rest of body. You mean so well in what you’re doing, but remember that every person you meet, relationships, friendships, strangers, it is so complex and intricate that what you’re doing, even if its out of love, and care, can be portrayed as the antithesis to the other. Focus on being relaxed, feeling this way is a state of mind that not everyone can achieve on a day-to-day basis. You feel so bad when something happens and you shouldn’t because its hurting you, and when you’re hurt nothing is achieved.”

I questioned, “Is my relaxed state, this idea of happiness manufactured now? I mean I definitely do not have trouble verbalizing what I feel or retaining information but its not connecting and making sense of it is trouble. Its like everything is AHHHHH when it should be “what’s the problem, lets deal with it.” Sort of thing.”

“Those blissful images I’ve sent you is what you should feel everyday. Not that nasty black cloud of monster. It's gone. Believe that. Everything will be okay."

When I opened my eyes, I waited for about 10 minutes before I verbally said anything.

“did you say something?”

She replied “No what did I say?”