bad month

this is all some sort of test right? i would like to think there is something out there for everyone, and cannot bear to be so pessimistic, but at a certain point it just makes me incredibly angry.

i've been in bed for the past week, mostly because i've been sick, but in that time i thought about my existence greatly: it is worth all this trouble? what is more confusing is how my body responds to it. my head hurts so much all the time, and it might just be a physical manifestation of all things bad happening at once, and they have to expelled some how. I don't know, i refuse to loll over a subject that i know shouldn't be of great importance.

anyhow, i got some great photos that i can finally post up.

my friend and i went to bingo the other night, and we came across an amazing car accident. i laid on top of it, and it was so perfect. though i made the mistake of doing the same on a pile of garbage, and the garbage leaked all over my back.

the point is this: we try so hard to get rid of excess and clean ourselves from our own filth and garbage, but why does it always resurface? is there a point to get rid of it in the first place?