I broke down the 2nd time since this 2nd birth

im not so weida like other mothers. i'm going crazy due to insomnia after waking up to feed. It's not my baby's fault, but i can't go back to sleep immediately becoz i worry about things and sleeping noises and lack of space from my bed also keeps me awake.

I cried and told my in laws' i only slept 1.5 hrs.

I rather pay ppl than to lose my sleep...im not so weida. And i have a phobia of giving birth not becoz its painful, but becoz of losing my sleep. Yes im that pampered. Sleep keeps my sanity.

Coz staying with in laws', no space to hire a maid...can maids sleep on the floor? Then again, having a maid poses a whole lot of new problems too...

im broke down.

my suffering is nothing compared to Jesus', but why do i feel like im so broken down.