Custom Bastards!

Ha ha ha! I just found a blog entry of mine from January 31 2006 and thought that this little experience was unbelievable and funny even when reading it today. Have fun...!****

Custom Bastards!!

Hey,

yesterday I received notice from customs that they are holding my package of DVDs from Korea hostage. They wanted me to come and pick them up.

So I went… and what happened next destroyed my whole day:

1. Arrival at customs office.

2. A young lady (25 maybe) brings the package and asks me to open it.

3. I open the package and my eyes are filled with pride as I take out the 3 disc limited edition of "The Duelist" and the 2-discer of "Welcome to Dongmakgol".

1. Custom lady tells me that  there was no invoice and asks whether I have brought one with me.

2. I tell her DVDHeaven doesn’t send invoices.

3. She gasps and asks for the approximate price. I lie to her and say 35.98 US Dollars.

4. She calculates a bit and tells me that I’d have to pay around €7.

5. I say, "Fine", reach to my pocket for money as she says, "You can’t take the package with you now, though."

This is where all the shit starts happening.

"Why?"

"Because we have to send it to Frankfurt."

"Why?"

"Because they need to check if these DVDs are originals or illegal copies."

"LOL, what?" (I actually said "LOL!") "Don’t you see that this is a huge-ass quality boxset? How could this be a bootleg?"

"You wouldn’t believe what we get to see here. Besides, you see, these DVDs have this DVD sign and if the respective companies do not have the rights to use this sign, then we are dealing with illegal DVDs here."The woman sitting in front of a computer in the back of the room barges in.

"Besides, I doubt that Korea produces original DVDs."

I start to get really angry.

"Excuse me, Korea is the highest movie producing country right after Bollywood and Hollywood and they release thousands of DVDs every year." (I didn't even know for sure if that was true.)

Woman remains silent.

I continue my argument with the woman who attended me before.

"So how are they gonna check if these are originals?"

"I don’t know."

"How long will it take?"

"I don’t know."

"What do you know?"

"That I’ll have to send this to Frankfurt."

"So will they send it to me directly or do I have to come all the way again just to pick it up?"

"They’ll send it back to us. Had you brought us an invoice, you could have paid the money to the postman."

"But I don’t have any invoices. So even when they send the package back here and I come to pick it up, will you give it to me?"

"Well, I’m sure we’ll find a way."

"Do these computers here have internet access? I can show you the online store where I bought these DVDs from."

"I’m sorry we don’t have access to the internet.", she lies.

I take a deep breath.

"Well, then give me an email address so I can send you the shop URL of each DVD."

"We don’t have an email address."

I take a deep breath and start talking really loudly.

"You know what? Send the shit back! I’m fuckin’ sick of all this burocracy."

As I am about to walk out of the door, I take another glance at the woman and see her standing there with my DVDs in her hands looking really irritated.

"Why don’t you just send us the two pages with the DVDs’ prices?"

I scream at her, "You don’t even have an email address!"

"You can send it via snail mai…"

I walk out of the door and slam it.

On my way back to the train station I took deep breaths and tried not to stop thinking logically due to my sudden rage. I tried to calm down. As I almost arrived at the station, I turned back to the customs office. I entered the room and saw the woman again. She looked scared as she saw me again (LOL!).

"Hey, just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I know you’re simply doing your job and at the moment I’m in a process of trying to become a better human being. I didn’t mean to let my anger go on you."

She smiles. The other woman in the back of the room gives me a glance as if she is about to tell me what an insane person I am.

"Oh, that’s ok."

"I was just wondering whether I could have the snail mail address so I can send you the pages with the DVDs’ prices."

The young lady winks an eye at me and says, "You can send a fax if you like. That makes things faster."

"Cheers, you made my day", I lie. "Can I also have the phone number of the guys who check my DVDs? I’m just interested in how they’re going to find out if the DVDs are illegal or not."

She gives me all I have asked for. I apologise again and leave.

As I arrive in my office, I go to DVDHeaven.com, save the pages of the respective DVDs, manually change the prices and send them off as a fax to the customs office. I call the fuckers in Frankfurt who’ll check my DVDs. A woman answears the phone and she is quite polite.

"So how do you gonna check if these DVDs are originals?"

"We aren’t exactly checking for that. We’re just checking whether or not the companies that have produced these discs have the rights to use the DVD logo on their packages."

"And how will you check that?"

"We’ll send them to Japan…"

"YOU’RE GONNA SEND MY DVDS TO JAPAN? THEY CAME TO GERMANY ONLY TO BE SENT BACK TO THE FAR EAST?"

The woman laughs.

"No, we’ll take pictures and send these via email to Japan!"

"Well, at least they have email in Japan."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, it’s nothing. Thanks and bye."

Man… I have been waiting ages for these films and I really want to review them for my website, especially "The Duelist" as it is temporarily the number one sold Korean DVD at YesAsia which means I’d get more commission, provided I like the film and rate it highly.****

Ha ha ha! Man, looking back at this experience I can only say that I hope this red tape bureaucracy with German customs is over. Maybe not, though. It's the age of Blu-Rays and they use a special sign for these as well. :D