-Endorphins injection- It's hard to stay happy when life keeps farting on you. I have never experienced anything like this, I was really really upset. Even the tiniest thing could trigger my emotions. One simple joke could make me cry and argue with my parents, on street. Being ignored for a short while could make me believe that I'm worthless and unimportant. Whenever I got upset, I couldn't get rid of it. At some point I was starting to believe that some sort of depression was developing inside me. But the worst of all was, I just had a super up moment in August during church camp. I was so pumped I thought all my islands were destroyed and rebuilt(#insideout ) I didn't know I could hit rock bottom so soon. It was devastating. I felt really really bad because I thought I broke the promise I had with God. If God can't heal you, who on earth can?- said minister. It's true, very very true. Although at some point I felt like spiritual practice has become the IV line that kept me alive, I insisted because, well, there's nothing I could do other than seeking help from God, praying and admitting my weakness. Gently and slowly, things got better. One thing that helped most was working out. Each run acted as a shot of happiness. It helped so much in generating positivity, clearing and resting my mind. Finally I understood. There are many things in life we are not allowed to choose but we can choose to be happy. I remember seeing @thesonilee post and not really knowing what that means, now that I have experienced it, I finally understood. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." -James 1:2-3 Thank you, endorphins and friends. And most of all, God, for never giving up on me.
Naive enough to hold faith in dreams | 我有很多脂肪 和一點喜感 | 在學習生活 | I grow, but never fully grown.