"...when so&so called me a name, who did i think i was when i got upset? how come i didn't see that it's just about them? the only reason i got upset was because what they said reflected something about what i believed about myself. if it didn't, i wouldn't be upset. i'd just see it as the other person having a problem....so every time you're trying to understand why you did something, do it with compassion & curiosity. don't make it an accusation to yourself cos then you'd defensively shutdown. then you'd be able to see what had been hidden. that's how we allow ourselves to grow, over time..." - paraphrased from Dr. Gabor Maté