The Hunt for Vietnamese Catfish...

For the past several months, our very own Dustin Nguyen has been raving about taking us to a restaurant with the "the most amazing Vietnamese baked catfish in the whole wide world."  I suppose for the avid catfish connisiuer, such a claim would demand immediate culinary action and exploration.  Unfortunately for Dustin, such palatable love for this feline fish falls on deaf ears.  You see, I really do not care for any fish of the scaleless variety, and I especially do not like catfish.  Much like the sea slug and the geoduck, it is no accident that such a fish is classified as the "poo of the sea".  My theory is simple...you are what you eat.  Eat poo = you will taste like poo.  I personally do not like the taste of poo.  Follow such logic in the realm of grass fed beef...Eat grass = taste like grass.  Hence the gamey flavor of some grass fed cattle.  Please note, I do not wish to appear harsh towards the catfish as a whole.  I'm sure if I were a sea critter, I would find the catfish a fine friend and a good buddy in which to explore the undersea kingdom with.  But this is not about fish friends...this is about eating fish that has poo-like flavor.

The catfish - a vessel of aquatic poo.

Given Dustin's incredible passion for us to taste this "best ever" catfish, I decided to broaden my dietary horizon by agreeing to travel 1 hour to Little Saigon to Favori Restaurant - home of "the best Vietnamese baked catfish in the whole wide world."  Joining us on this adventure was 3 other fearless eaters...Angela, Julie, & Juliet.  This would be a trip of either great gastronomical epiphany or group suicide.  I would imagine a trip to eat Japanese Fugu (blowfish) would have the same giddy anticipation of life and death.

Angela, Julie, & Juliet.  They smile now.  But would they still be smiling after eating sea poo...we would soon find out.

Let's cut to the chase, we did not die.  In fact, that was some damn good catfish!  Best I have ever had.  But it did not start that way.  The method of eating this catfish is culturally anchored in the Vietnamese style...you basically wrap the fish in rice paper and various exotic greens to form a south east asian burrito of sorts.  Now I am accustomed to this form of labor intensive eating, having a great love for Nem Nuong...roll your own spring rolls with beef, chicken, or pork with exotic veggies.  Now if it was the catfish I feared, such paranoia retarded my senses towards the plate of exotic greens.  Usually the greens are a cornucopia of carrots, cucumbers, lettuce, and variety of mint leaves.  Nothing unusual.  Except for this rogue green that looked very similar to that of a mint leaf but is clearly not.  That leaf and bastard vegetable of the devil is known as the Pennywort.  If you have never encountered it, take heed now.  Do not eat it...EVER.  It looks innocent enough, much like a non-veiny mint leaf.  So docile and innocent it looks, perhaps even pretty.  But take a bite and it paralyzes you with a flavor of rotten fish.  Why the hell this restaurant would serve such a horrid vegetable with any fish dish is beyond me.  It's like McDonald's serving a Big Mac with rotten beef/crap flavor buns.  Needless to say, my first roll contained only 2 ingredients...catfish and a fist full of Pennwort.  I thought I had bitten into a spiced trout head that had been rotting in the summer sun for 4 days.  I almost vomited.  Being a somewhat socially graceful friend, I turned to Dustin, smiled and told him it was amazing.

This is the Pennywort.  A bastard of a green that was created by the devil.  Consider yourself warned.

Given the fact that everyone else was in blissful awe of their catfish rolls, I figured that something had to be wrong.  After a bit of forensic deduction I was able to narrow down the culinary criminal to the Pennywort.  Damn that green.  Damn it back to where it came from...a pig's anus.  After ridding all of our plates of this vile offender, the rest of the meal was pleasant.  So, to Dustin's credit, this was the "best baked Vietnamese catfish" I have ever had.  But then again, it was the only baked Vietnamese catfish I have ever had.  Love the catfish.  Forever hate the Pennwort.

You see before you the great Favori baked catfish.  Below it hides the dreaded Pennywort.  Do not let it's good looks seduce you.