ROMANCE TROUBLE on Feb 1st...

Valentine's day/week/month can be a scary time for many.   For the newly-dating (aka newly-touching), the month of February can create great unease.  Would a bouquet of flowers, box of chocolates, or a clothed backrub be too much?  Perhaps too little?  The sweet spot is always very difficult to find.  And once you find that sweet spot, how much do you push it...a little or a lot?And for those who are veteran dating (aka still touching but not as passionately), how can one show their love for the other consistent to the actions of the past but not set the bar so high as to make future actions of love impossible to maintain let alone exceed?And what about those who are currently not dating (aka touching self regularly)?  Do you just hang out with other non-dating friends to either find solace in numbers or perhaps utilize modern witchcraft in order to partake in friends with privileges without risking future platonic hang out sessions of pizza, beer, and rock band?The combinations are dizzying.Personally, I have always been a cynic when it came to Hallmark holidays.  By staying true to my rational nature of not succumbing to Valentines day/week/month, I have experienced countless face slaps, throat punches, and emotional heart-knifings from my opposite.  On the flip side, by my doing the opposing and partaking in this annual February passion holiday, I found myself experiencing a strange self-loathing guilt that could only be dulled through the drink.  So is the irony of life, loin, & labito.I, for one, am no expert in maintaining consistent peace of heart.  Far, far from it.  At best, my abilities to successfully predict and execute how to best honor my lover in the month of February can most appropriately be liken to my ability to herd cats...sucky.  It is like having one's heart-happiness locked away in a combination safe with the code changing every time one desires to gain access and entry.  It is, at best, a metapherein task.  Sometimes just giving yourself a swift kick in the nuts (or a flick of the mammary for the feminine) may be a better option...pain will be certain but without the abuse of hope.Ahhhhh love.  What is it?  And once you have it, how do you maintain it?  it's like trying to grown an orchid from your bellybutton.  Possible?  Yes.  Natural?  No.  It is not my intention to probe deep into the wild kingdom and cite countless examples of how love doesn't really exist.  That animals come together to come together in order to propagate, grow, and survive.  But I won't probe deep as I have yet to ever see a Hallmark store in the outback, jungle, or high elevation temperate forest.  Animals just don't maintain courtship with flowers, chocolates, precious metals/stones, or greeting cards.  They just throw acorns at each other and then proceed to mount in various forms and positions.In summary, I have no answer to how to consistently hurdler the Valentine holiday with success and grace.  For those who know how, you are a bad ass mf of love.  Please bottle it and share it with the masses.  Until then, I will continue stumbling through life, predictably beefing it annually in February in a predictably unpredictable manner.  At least my intent is of big heart.  I will continue to try and try I will...World Premier - FEB 1st - Warner Bros Presents "THE TROUBLE WITH ROMANCE" on PayPerView & OnDemandVideo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdoE49chFKU