just close your eyes and remember...

happy new year first of all.  i had a lovely holiday spent with my siblings and their significant others and of course seth, our favorite family dog, up in the mountains at kirkwood...in a gorgeous huge cabin that my mother so generously got for us, and was expected to have been there with us only to have been held up by shooting...her absence made me so sad, i was so looking forward to quality time with my mom...i'm not a pro boarder like my sisters and bro, i'm the one who cuddles in a chair next to the fire with a glass of wine, a book, a movie, the dog...and waits for them to come rolling in from the snow, all full of joy and cool red cheeks and huge happiness on their faces...makes me so happy to see that...and if mom were there, she'd have been there with me watching our favorite movies together...but every night my brother shot video of us toasting to her at our family dinner and she was definitely there with us in spirit...i cried almost every time we did that toast to her...we're so lucky to have had this trip...and now, the new year...clean slate, like the snow that was piled up high outside the window...a new start...so many things going on in my mind already...i'm trying to calm myself down, take note, know that everything i want to do this year, i can get to...but take it a day at a time...i feel energized, excited, ready, eager, hopeful...that this year is going to bring me new adventures, new challenges that i will hopefully handle with grace, and new mountains to climb...no more fear...live life fully...everyone keeps encouraging me to do this...and this year, i'm going to make sure i do...i'm so grateful for my family, my great great friends who are also my family, and to all of those angels that "yuan fen" brings to me, bringing me moments of bliss, awareness, reflection, and...peace...thank you...i hope that the new year brings everyone lots of wonderful wonderful moments, experiences, however brief...because all of these blessings and memories you can close your eyes and just...bring yourself back, and smile...i love that...i love those memories...and i'm ready to add more...