Skyward - Day 18 - 2008 May 29

I thought I'd make one tiny change to the scrīpt... two actually. One, Clay ends up killing Ronnie, and two, Clay suffers an eye injury during the bar fight, rather than just having one from the get go. And now the entire movie is changing. I've been deleting huge numbers of pages, and I'm still cutting it apart. The whole thing is down from 117 to 103 pages, which is nothing but a good thing right now considering there are 8 damn action scenes. I'm actually deleting an entire DAY from the story, which is awesome. Talk about flow! Added in a scene at a hospital where Jamie gives Clay a hard time about the money and Devon listens in, cut out the whole thing on the cliff after the bar, cut out ALL the aviation center scenes, so now these first few days in the story should fly by a little better.

I also killed Lorry during the bar fight. Ronnie hires another lacky, Micky, and decides to be a huge pain in the ass for Devon. But it's in Ronnie's interest NOT to kill Devon or Clay because he needs the money more than anything. This adds a little more oompf to the situation... I think.

As I go I need to keep focused on Clay's paranoia. Right when he gets back from the hospital, he goes back to work, and Devon's place gets trashed while he's at the hospital. Devon needs to quickly pick up on Clay's paranoia and send Clay out to Ronnie's place. Clay fights Ronnie and accidentally kills him, and at the end of Clay's encounter with Ronnie, either Clay finds something on Ronnie or Ronnie tells Clay to forget Devon's debt. It'd probably work better for Clay to find something later on... I'll try something out.