Skyward - Day 14 - 2008 May 15

I've narrowed the problems with the scrīpt down to the first half. What motivates Devon to kill Ronnie, the person he owes money to? It's not even motivation, but necessity. I added in a small bit with the Sam character. Turns out Sam will take over if Ronnie goes, and he tells Devon about this after Devon meets with Ronnie at the office. So now it's at least in Devon's head that Ronnie needs to go. He almost asks Clay for help, but decides to do it himself, perhaps both to save Clay and make himself feel less like a paperweight that Clay bails out of every situation.

One hiccup I had was bridging the scenes where Clay gets a notice for his eye exam and going to the bar. When Clay receives the notice, a few hours earlier Devon had been dropped off in the middle of downtown. I need to make the times coincide so that Devon calls Clay to pick him up, and then they decide to go get a drink at Clover's. That's easy: when Steve and Sam show up at Devon's door and say "Morning", Devon says "Yeah it is, on my day off too." Might as well show an alarm clock that says 1:00 with the sun beaming through a window nearby. Then, when Devon's dropped off down town, it can be evening, and Clay could have just gotten home and received the letter for the eye exam.

The only other major problem I'm running into is what to do with Jamie at the end. She drives away from the camp scene to deliver the money, but I think it starts falling apart there. Near the end I think we need to start getting things rolling a lot faster, perhaps by having the three of them sticking around at the ranch for a little longer, getting supplies together, and then making a getaway when the bad guys show up. That will keep the end rolling on and basically start the finale from Troy's fight, leading into a small chase where Jamie gets kidnapped, to the casino fight, to the finale.

Crap, that's a lot of rewriting at the end.