Avid Blogger? Not so much

Man i has been a while.  But the blogging bug was biting so i figured i'd give in.Sunday night.  I just finished a long hike, dog and apartment are now clean, and a cold beer, cup noodles and a movie await.  Heaven.Once i get past the fear being lonely, i realize that i like being alone.  I spend so much of my time being "up" and socializing that it is down time i need to recharge.  If only i didn't kick and scream so much before settling in.Learned a lot about myself the past few weeks.  I actually felt a change take place.  I think it might take, we'll see.  It has something to do with taking responsibility for my behavior.  I tend to always think i am right and i spend a lot of my brain time rationalizing how other people have done me wrong.  And this time, i took a step back and stopped blaming and just, well,....   it was a very visceral moment.  I can't say i felt very good about myself.  I didn't. But it brought me to a place of acceptance of responsibility.  And the feeling was overwhelming.  I was on the MTR and i felt very raw and exposed and the tears came.  The people must have just thought i was a crazy gwylo. Oh well.  I AM a crazy gwylo.Elsewhere the new office at Focus On Film  (dubbed the FoFfice) is super cool and a joy to be at.  Andrew Lau has provided us with the space.  Bless his sweet open minded soul.  It is a funky, messy, arty, industrial.space... and Billy is there with me every day.  Not cause we have to be or cause we are making a mint, but because we believe in driving this idea to completion.  We are giving it our best shot.  I hope it works!  I feel like this is the last hurrah.  I can only do non profit for no pay for a limited amount of time.  It is not like we don't get funding, we do... just not enough.  I need to eat.  I have given it until September and then i will reevaluate.Filmart and the HKIFF have been loads of fun.  In the past few weeks i have learned more about how to network then ever AND i got some quality time on equipment i need to understand.  The RED cam mounted as a stereoscopic rig set up got most of my attention.  And the talks by Matt Aitken from NZ - the VFX master behind gollum and king kong really got me going.  He was lovely too, encouraging me to continue to explore even if i am only an inde director with no budget.  Met a lovely guy too, but didn't pursue- he was NZ bound and i was otherwise engaged at the time.  Shame, we hit it off so much that people thought we were together and we hadn't yet spoken more than a few sentences together!The teaser/promo shoot for Y4, the art house horror feature i am writing with Ben is going so fast it is crazy.  We are shooting in three weeks.  Yikes!  Casting is in two weeks time and there are costumes to design and build and production design and locations to nail down and and and and....  It's all good.  The team is working very well together and it just feels right. Lots of good folks have let us know they want to audition.  It feels really good to be in the director's seat again.  Hopefully we will have something done by the time i leave for Cannes.  And leave for Cannes I will at the beginning of May.I am looking forward to getting back to Europe.  I haven't been in a very very long time.  Reconnecting with old friends will be good for the soul, and Robert is taking me to Italy and Jac is taking me to Scotland!  Not bad for a broke starving artist!In the meantime, I'll prepare the Focus On Film kids work from the last screening to bring to the Marche and shop around.  The A Girl's Life screening went so well it was a very moving moment and the culmination of a lot of crazy hard work for six straight months.  It was good though, the audience loved the films,not cause they were films by kids, but because they were well done thought provoking works. Okay, i'll close with a glam anecdote.  Was out this weekend with the Dig and he brought me to meet Eve- the supermodel from a decade or so ago... the one with the amazing shaved head and the tattoo of a dragon above her ear.  He was right, we hit it off.  She was cool and funky and spunky and gorgeous.  It is always cool to meet folks that inspire.  And as i look back over this blog i realize how much i have been inspired over the past month especially.  Sometimes inspired to do things i wasn't very proud of, but i have met a lot of very intersting quirky people.So now to that beer and movie.  What should i watch :  Infernal Affairs or Bourne Ultimatum ( i still haven't finished it yet!)I"ll let you know next time.IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN AUDITIONING FOR Y4  PLEASE SEE OUR EVENTS PAGE FOR DETAILShttp://www.alivenotdead.com/elissarosati/CASTING-ARTHOUSE-HORROR-FILM-Y4-event-555610.html