Another Memory of Felicia Tang

Good morning again everyone, another fellow blogger here on AnD just sent me a blog comment about Felicia. This is from Jlb02486 and I thought everyone would like to read what he had to say.  Thank you Jlb02486 for taking the time to comment to one of the previous entries:

Dear Candace,

I considered Felicia to be a friend of mine and I hope she considered me one as well, but perhaps I am just flattering myself. In today parlance we were Internet friends. We met about 6 years ago. She was fun, joy, life, love, caring, giddiness, silliness, and much more, all bundled up in one person. She was one in a million and a real firecracker, as people use to say. Happily I was able to tell her that, but I wish I had been able to met her in person. Her full name was Felicia Su-Yin (Tang) Lee, Lee was her married name and Tang (Simplified 汤, Traditional 湯) was her family name, it was the traditional character that was a part of the dragon tattoo on the back of her shoulder. In Mandarin it means "soup". The last time I spoke to her, through Email, was on July 18 of this year, 2009, a Saturday, she told me she was getting married. At the time, I thought this was great news, I knew that finding some one was very important to her because we had discussed it a couple of times over the years and she had lamented about how hard it was to find a nice guy. I told her it was great news and I wished lots of love and happiness in the marriage and asked if she could send me some wedding photo's, she never replied. Fifty-five days later on September 11 2009, sometime on or before 12:11 p.m. PST, she was murdered by her boy friend, presumably the one she told me she was going to marry. The boy friend was arrested a few days latter for torturing and killing Felicia. Her death was not a good one. Apparently, her boyfriend/husband to be, violently beat her over a prolonged period of time. According to the LA Times, the torture charges were filed because of the severity of her injures and evidence that she died slowly. Personally, I think they should call it a hate crime as well, because that is what it was. The cue de gras may have been suffocation or strangulation; I have heard both. On his myspace page he says he "likes to get up early in the morning and work out" if that is true, then he may have beaten her all morning on the 11th, perhaps he even started on her the night before, I don't know. It's best I not think about it, otherwise I will lose it, being a biologist isn't helping. I was aware of her fear that a fan would someday find her, hurt her and kill her. I can't image the depth of her fear and horror as she realized that it would be the man she had let into her heart, her home, her life and her bed, that would beat her and finally kill her, not the deranged stalker fan she feared. Statistically, a woman is more likely to die at the hands of the man that claims to love her. What set him off? Why couldn't he have been satisfied with just beating her and then leaving her alive to live among her loving family and friends? I suspect I know why.

        I am angry, very, very angry, and not just at the boy friend. I feel that we have failed in being good caring human beings. We have failed in being our brothers and sisters keepers. I believe, and I am absolutely convinced, that this event could have been prevented and stopped if only some one had been willing to stick their nose into her business. If this had been done then maybe this awful tragedy could have been prevented and two lives could have been saved, not to mention preventing the pain and grief their families and friends now share and endure. I blame the neighbors who must have heard something and did nothing not even calling 911, I blame their friends who suspected something was amiss but didn’t act forcefully enough, I blame the families for not pressing the issue if they knew of it, and most of all I blame myself, wondering if there was something I could have done or said, but didn't because I was afraid of upsetting her or driving her away. Maybe I should have taken the risk maybe I should have pressed her more on the subject: After all, isn’t it worth risking a friendship to save the friend? I suspect I know why.

Conclusion: Get involved. If you hear a Wife and Husband, or a boyfriend and girlfriend or who ever it might be, arguing loudly, shouting, yelling stick your nose in their business. Bang on the door, barge in if you think you have too, but most important of all before doing anything else call the police, call 911.

        My father’s death did affect this much, but that's because I understood it, at the time it wasn't preventable. I don’t understand what happened to Felicia.