Out of the Dark into the Light...The Original Urban Warrior

  So I have been MIA-ing ...BIG TIME ...especially since my last blog which was forever ago...and now I am ready to blog seriously.....so much has happened and there is a heap of stuff  I have been wanting to blog about but I don't feel as if I can until I write about the 12 months which have given me a whole new perspectiveThe last 12 months have had me out of my comfort zone in every way possible. 12 months ago I found out my dad had cancer, 5 1/2 months later he was taken away from all that loved him, that was 6 months ago. My dad never got the chance to come to Hong Kong , meet all the amazing people I have met and who are my family here. I know who I am today is because of him and i'd like to introduce to you my dad ..... Mukund R Raval, the original urban warrior. I have been planning on writing this entry for a while now but it seems harder than I thought it would be, how do I explain how much this person meant to me.... I wrote two pieces while I was looking after my dad , one was for The C Word , an exhibition of works by cancer survivors, sufferers and those close to them that was exhibited at Artistree in Tai Koo in June / July . The other was most difficult, the speech I had written for the funeral.  These are pieces I would like to share with you.   Nothing Is the Same for C WordStartFragmentNothing Is The SameIt encapsulates youIt is relentless It took you away from meBut I will always be your little girlMade me feel uncertainMy future changedEverything changedThe words don’t come rightThe house doesn’t feel rightNothing feels rightAnd I’m still waiting for you to come home … It is relentless In me people see you…Only 28 years and so much still to doYou will not dance me down the aisleYou will not hold my first childNo more will you hold me when I breakNo more will you wipe the tears that you hate see fallNo more will we laugh and share a smile They sayTime is a healerI hang onto every wordLike I held on to you It is relentless Tell me its gonna be okYou said that every time You fought on The warrior you becameThe strength you hadThe pain you tookYou knew I was hiding to be strong for youYou told meYou knew It is relentless  But, You fought on You left smiles on everyone’s facesYou left kisses on my foreheadYou left me wanting hugs that I wish would last foreverIt took you away from meI had to let you goIt took you away from meI told you to goYou held on for meBut I had to let you go It is relentless I am lostSo lost without youYou were strong and you fought onIt stopped you from movingIt stopped you from eatingIt tried to stop your spirit But you fought on You took pain beyond its limits …You smiled throughout the discomfort….You laughed in all the hospitals…Your hands, your feet tapped to your favourite sounds…You made nurses smile with deliveries of chocolate   It is relentlessBut, You fought on Your will is brokenStill you fight on This relent-less-nessThis rest-less-ness This Cancer is unforgiving The break down in tearsThe fear of the momentMedications that seeped throughMedications that held no barriersHeld no barriers for you It is relentlessAnd you fought on Til your last breathYour last heartbeatYou fought onYou fought hard You protected your fears from me I became somebody through loving you I struggle, I fear…. In me you live onIn me I continue your legacyThrough me I show you the worldThrough you I experienceI gain strengthI do not forgetI move on with your hand on my shoulder A warrior til the last breath….a legend…..my legend We did everything day and nightBut there’s lies the hurdleThe acceptance of life You were calm and the storm was inside you….You were calm and the storm over took you….You were calm….In this storm that I now face….Walk by my side and take me to calm….The Last SpeechStartFragmentI am and always will be my daddys little girl…..

Dad was a true soul man ..i liked calling him daddyo or daddy cool cos to me that’s what he was ….some of my friends nicknamed him the Indian Fonz ..it suited dad to a tee…

To me dad was the original urban warrior…taking life day by day as it came to him….

I am the luckiest most bless’d girl …my dad was SO different from other dads I knew…he partied with us ….i worked with him. I shopped with him… .watched football with him ….he took me everywhere …my favourite places in London are because of him….we hung out together and he guided me

 All my passions are because of dads influence…cooking …politics …travelling…music ….dancing… I really loved watching dad dance  sing and laugh I am blessed that the day that my brother got married me and my dad danced down embankment together …..

 Dad was adventurous and a risk taker and pushed me to take risks, break boundaries and face my fears he wanted me to experience everything ..everything that life has good or bad …..he wanted me to see the world as it is and find beauty in everything ….

 He taught us to respect everyone no matter what, creed , colour, background, or situation ..he never judged   dad took people as they were and for who they were …I love that he was like that …he taught me to appreciate and experience everyone’s cultures and learn about people …to appreciate what we have been blessed with and to not shy away from those who didn’t have but rather offer them a hand ……

 My dad was a man of ritual my favourite was dad needing his comb and his watch and him looking in on me as I slept just to make sure I was ok …

 I am very honoured that god gave me the opportunity to really care and look after dad when he got sick and I would do it again and again….. dad made light of his situation, he joked and laughed he named me his surgeon my brother his doctor and my mum his nurse…even at this age and being so sick he would let me snuggle up next to him in the morning and at times I would still pretend to be asleep just so that he would stroke my head ……I did that a lot when I was younger just to get his cuddles and affection

 I cannot express to you all the wonderful things dad did for us and showed us …all I can say is that everything that I am is because of  dad… dad I became somebody through loving you..

 Dad would want us to say thank you to everyone who has had a moment to think, see, talk to him since he got sick your  prayers and thoughts have helped to carry us all through the last 6 months

 We love you dad so very much and  miss you every moment of the day… I will always be your little girl….

 ….We are cool kids because of you…….The next two weeks will see me take one of the most sacred journeys I will ever take on. A 10 day trip to some of India's most holy places, where with my family we will perform my dad's last rites. I know this journey will be hard but I also know that it will be open up my world and somewhere in that journey I will find a sense of peace that I have missing. To my  HK family, I am eternally grateful everyday that you have held my hand so tight through this past year. This is for you Dad, the original urban Warrior. much love and peace

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