Yo Homes, to Bel Air!

Alright, my LA friends and I, along with Bill Simmons and perhaps every pop culture loving American, have always joked that Rocky Balboa ended the Cold War.

(Plot recap of Rocky IV for you poor souls who ain't seen it: Russ...oops, the Soviet Union brings over a boxer by the name of Ivan Drago to participate in a charity boxing match with all American Apollo Creed. Like all cocky Americans, Creed was running his mouth before hand and then promptly gets killed in the ring. Drago says "if he dies...he dies" as a dying Creed is being cradled by Rocky Balboa--who witnessed the whole thing ring side. Balboa immediately vows VENGEANCE but his unsupportive and critical wife tells him he cannot go because "you can't win". Rocky fires back "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SUPPORT ME!" and then orders her to cook him a steak (okay I made that last part up but that woulda made the movie better). Anyway Rocky leaves for Russia by himself and participates in one of the top 5 training sequences in movie history while Survivor's Hearts on Fire blare throughout the scene (if Survivor hadn't already made Gonna Fly Now, Hearts on Fire woulda been their epic. It's kinda like when Scorsese came out with Casino and everyone dismissed it because it was just like Goodfellas but in Vegas. Well if Goodfellas never existed everyone would be putting Casino on a pedesdal)

Back to the plot--Rocky goes to Russia, trains and defeats Drago. After the fight, he tells the crowd "IF I CAN CHANGE, YOU CAN CHANGE!!!!" and the Russian crowd, including communist government officials, stand up and applaud Rocky. Americans and Russians have been BFF ever since. BTW if you American and you ain't seen Rocky IV you need to do it now)

To the eyes of many Rocky ended the Cold War. So when that American Idiot Bush created tension with the Russia again with his insistence on building a missile defense system near the borders of Russia (probably in that same spot where Rocky climbed up a 2,3434 feet mountain). The Russians felt threatened and Bush shrugged. Some of us Americans were none too happy because Bush was basically undoing what Rocky Balboa had done.

Anyway, in comes Obama, with his hat real low, brushing that dirt off our shoulders with his new plan.

Taken from CNN.com

See, Obama's new plan not only makes the missiles more mobile and more cost-efficient (we need that right now in the states), it DOESN'T PISS OFF THE IVAN DRAGOS because we're not planting missiles right next to their barbecue. The point of this system is to deal with IRAN. Not with Zangrief and his 360 degree piledriver, which takes up half your lifebar.

IRAN. IRAN. IRAN. Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUjIA3Rt7gk

I walked along the avenue. I never thought I'd meet a girl like you; Meet a girl like you. With auburn hair and tawny eyes; The kind of eyes that hypnotize me through; Hypnotize me through.

Everytime I hear people talk about the country Iran I hear Flock of Seagulls in the background. Can't help it.

Anyway, yes--Rocky Balboa. I was just thinking yesterday how badly I need to take a cross country trip across the US. Obviously I'd wanna hit NYC, Texas, Boston, Chicago and all that. But the number one destination is PHILLY. For three reasons:

1: I want to jog up the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, just like Rocky.

2: I want to try an authentic philly cheese steak

3: I want to go to a playground in West Philly, get in a little fight, have some dude spin me around on his back, and have my mom say "you're moving to your auntie and uncle in Bel Air"

I whistled for a cab and when it came near, it said "fresh" on the plate and it had a dice in the mirror, if anything I can say is this cab was rare, but I thought "nah, forget it". "YO HOMES, TO BEL AIR!"